Don't Say This 1 Thing When Talking To Kids About Abusers, Experts Warn

So much of parenting is about keeping kids safe – yet are enough of us having crucial conversations with our kids to teach them about body safety?While it might sound daunting, it doesn’t have to be. The NSPCC’s PANTS rules are a great jumping off point. These run through everything from why privates should be kept private, to secret-keeping and consent in age-appropriate ways. One thing experts warn parents against doing when chatting to their kids about abuse is to threaten theoretical abusers. Lexi Koster, founder of the Body Safety Project, shared on TikTok that children will believe trusted adults if they say things like: “If anybody ever touches your private parts I will make sure something bad happens to them” or “you will never see them again”.She continued: “This is a big problem because kids are most often sexually abused by people they know and love like family members.“So if they think that you’re going to hurt this person or send them away so that they never see them again, this might scare them into not disclosing to you and enduring this abuse for a very long time.”Leanne McLeish, NSPCC practice manager, agrees. “Parents should avoid using threatening behaviour or language when talking about abuse – even just jokingly – as this might prevent a young person from disclosing what has happened to them,” she told HuffPost UK.People in the comments section of Koster’s video agreed that this is a crucial message to get across.One respondent said: “Abuse is often only able to happen because of the bond between the victim and abuser. Rehabilitative justice over retributive SAVES VICTIMS.”Another said: “This is the exact reason I never told my family. I was terrified of the consequences.”What to say insteadIf a child were to ask what would happen to an abuser, Koster suggested parents or caregivers could say: “I’ll make sure they get the help they need from trusted professionals, but what happens to them is not your responsibility and it is not your fault.”The NSPCC urges parents to constantly encourage open conversations with their children, actively listen to them, and ensure that their child knows they can talk about any issues in a safe and constructive manner. “At the same time, it is important that parents and children are also aware that through the NSPCC Helpline and Childline they have access to free and confidential support, whatever their concerns,” added McLeish.While it’s horrible to think that your child could ever be subjected to abuse, unfortunately it’s a reality we cannot ignore – statistics suggest one in 20 children in the UK have been sexually abused.The more we talk with our children, the more we can protect them. You can find out more about recognising the signs of sexual abuse in children here. Help and support:Childline - free and confidential support for young people in the UK - 0800 1111NSPCC - call the helpline on 0808 800 5000 or email [email protected] On Your Child's Door When They Hit This Age, Says Former Sex Ed TeacherKids As Young As 7 Are Making Sexual Moaning Sounds – How Can Parents Respond?'New Parenting Fear Unlocked': Mum Opens Up About 'Violating' Incident At Indoor Playground

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