How To Respond To Your Kid's Awkward Sex Questions (Without Turning Fifty Shades Of Red)

A quarter of parents say they’d find it hard to talk to their child about sex, according to a 2025 survey by Parentkind. But it’s clear we need to. This isn’t a conversation that can be left unsaid – for almost half of young people (45% to be precise), porn is their leading source of sex information, while almost two-thirds of young adults in the UK (65%) say their very first exposure to sex was through porn.Kemi Omijeh, a BACP registered child and adolescent therapist, told HuffPost UK there are a few issues that can occur if parents brush this topic under the carpet.Firstly, children might seek this information from other sources that are incorrect or don’t align with your personal or family values. It can also send the message that it’s a taboo subject, which can contribute to shame and secrecy around the topic, she noted.The therapist also warned it could put kids at risk, as “children who haven’t learned about consent, body autonomy and had meaningful conversations around sex and relationship have a limited understanding, leaving them more vulnerable to exploitation and abuse”.“Ultimately children will fill in the gaps themselves – you want to be walking alongside them as they are learning and developing, not leaving them to discover these things alone,” she added.But how is best to tackle these crucial conversations? And when?When to talk to kids about sexExperts agree there’s not really a set age to have this conversation, and really, it might be more helpful and natural to have several conversations over time. “There isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach to discussing this topic with children,” said Omijeh. “It’s not a one-off conversation but a gradual process that you build on over time, focused on relationships, of which sex is one aspect of.” Similarly, L.J Jones, a BACP registered therapist and parenting expert, agrees that it isn’t about “one big Adam and Eve-style talk” at a certain age. “From the preschool years, some children begin to ask questions influenced by many variables, including their curious personalities and information passed down from older siblings, or unfortunately, premature exposure through television, the internet, or peers,” she said.“Some questions will be age-appropriate, some will not – but all should be handled sensitively and appropriately.”While you might consider sex as something to be discussed only with older children, experts suggest that sometimes these conversations around relationships and how babies are made happen a lot earlier because young children are pretty inquisitive.“Children engage better when conversations about bodies, relationships, and consent are normalised early and developed over time,” said Omijeh. “It will also be dependent on your child’s age and maturity, your own family and cultural values.“As a general rule of thumb, if your child is asking questions and showing interest, they are ready.”Phrases parents can use when discussing sex and relationships with childrenThe key is to keep things as natural and age appropriate as possible, using everyday context, said Omijeh. From a young age, this might look like labelling body parts correctly and appropriately.“If someone known to you/your child is pregnant and they show curiosity about where babies come from, you can answer in a simple, factual way without strong reactions ranging from ‘two people (insert names if known), decided they wanted to have a baby together’ to ‘babies come from a private and intimate act between two adults’,” explained Omijeh.For older children, you might want to talk more about the biological aspect of it. Don’t be afraid to use age-appropriate books to help support you during these conversations, the expert said. “Follow their lead, give them short simple information. If they need more, they usually ask more questions,” she added.“You want to be as open and relaxed as possible and ensure that your children understand that they can come to you and have these conversations.”Here are some therapist-approved phrases parents might find helpful:For younger children - “Babies grow in a special place in a mummy’s tummy called a womb. A part from the mummy and a part from the daddy come together to create the baby.”For older children – “Sex is something adults choose to do when they want to show closeness, and sometimes to make a baby. At school, you’ll learn more about the science of it, but here we can also talk about feelings, consent, and relationships too.”“Your body belongs to you. If anything or anyone makes you uncomfortable, you can say it or talk to me.”“Parts of your body are private. We are not hiding it, but it’s not for all to see.”“It’s always okay to ask me questions. If I don’t know, I’ll find out with you.”“It’s great you’re asking questions. You can always come to me when you’re curious about bodies or babies.”“Your body is going to change. It happens to everyone, just in different ways and at different times.”“You might see or hear things about sex or relationships. If you’re not sure about something, let’s talk about it.”“Attraction is very personal. It’s like having your own style or tastes. People can be attracted to different genders and people, that’s ok.”Keep calm and carry onBeing calm and open is key to these conversations going well and your children feeling comfortable coming to you with questions or concerns in the future. Kathleen Hema, a former sex education teacher who is known for helping parents navigate sex talks with their kids, told HuffPost UK that, in her experience, children “can quickly sense their parent’s discomfort when it comes to sex questions”.“Kid’s don’t want to make their parents feel uncomfortable so if they notice your lack of willingness to answer their questions, they’ll just stop asking,” she noted.“This doesn’t mean that they’re not curious about the topic, they totally are, but they’re not going to come to you with their questions.”If you find it quite hard to talk to your child about sex, sexuality, and sexual health, you’re certainly not alone.Hema recommends using the following phrase, which can buy you a bit more time so you can unearth appropriate resources or answers: “That’s a great question! I’m so glad you asked me that! I don’t know the answer right now but I’ll find out and get back to you!”Laying the foundations for sex education in school“Parents who demonstrate open-mindedness early on and maintain a willingness to talk, remove the sense of taboo or shock when children start learning more formally about sex – whether through school lessons or peers,” said Jones.“These children are also more likely to engage in continued, ongoing conversations with their parents.”It’s also important that these conversations happen with parents, as Jones explains “within them lie crucial opportunities to educate your child about body boundaries and consent – lessons that are vital in a fast-changing world filled with both on and offline risks”.On that note, the therapist urges parents to use parental controls on any digital devices kids are using – “it’s a fundamental safeguarding tool to help ensure children’s exposure and exploration remains age-appropriate,” she added.“These conversations not only help to keep your child safe and informed but also strengthen your bond and build trust. When parents are open and accepting, children are far more likely to turn to them with more serious or complicated questions later in life.”Related...Knock On Your Child's Door When They Hit This Age, Says Former Sex Ed TeacherIs It 'Weird' To Be Naked Around Your Kids?Your Kid Walks In On You Having Sex – This Is The First Thing You Should Say

Comments

Breaking news

Reform UK Councillor Defects To Tories After Feeling 'Uncomfortable' Over Anti-Migration Policies

Huffpost uk

Comments

Breaking news

Reform UK Councillor Defects To Tories After Feeling 'Uncomfortable' Over Anti-Migration Policies

King Charles wants to strip Andrew of last remaining military rank he is ‘hanging onto’

At least 23 killed including children after supermarket in Mexico explodes

Paris prosecutor: 2 Louvre heist suspects had prior theft conviction together

Hegseth in Vietnam to strengthen defense ties and reassure a cautious partner

Tourists return to Hoi An after devastating Thai floods leave 35 dead

What to know about a stabbing attack aboard a train in Britain

Huntingdon train stabbing: What security is there on trains and which services are disrupted today?

Race against time for Hurricane Melissa aid workers to deliver relief to people in Jamaica

Scots teen fighting for life after hit-and-run while walking home from night out

Mum halves body weight after becoming so obese her gallbladder had to be removed

Baby diagnosed with brain tumour after struggle to sit up and use left hand

Man charged over 'stabbing' with person in hospital after South Queensferry 'altercation'

Two men arrested over Huntingdon stabbing which passenger thought was Halloween prank

Glasgow man wins The Wheel in emotional moment after daughter's tragic death

Killer 'The Beast' murdered 200 kids and pulled out own tooth to 'bite them better'

Team GB prospect banned for TWO YEARS over 'sex act on plane' as Olympics dream in tatters

Strictly's Shirley Ballas makes epic mistake on TV leaving viewers in disbelief

Do 1 thing every day to 'promote hair growth and shine' and it's totally free

Prince Harry's blistering feelings on Prince Andrew laid bare after Meghan vow

Huntingdon train stabbing suspects are both British nationals, police reveal

'Al Capone was a mobster but not a monster' insists great grand niece of mafia boss

Scientists discover Bible's 'likely authors' as hidden clues leave them amazed

Huntingdon train attack not terrorism says Home Secretary as two Brits arrested

'My neighbour has floored me with their cheeky parking request - it's constant'

Major update on Huntingdon train stabbing victims fighting for their lives

Huntingdon train stabbing: Horse racing meeting goes ahead despite rail chaos

Severe travel disruption 'expected until end of day' after LNER train stabbings

Wolves sack Vitor Pereira just weeks after handing manager new contract

Kate and William’s 'real reason' for home move at odds with Prince Andrew change

Cool foster cats strike purr-fect poses as they appeal for fur-ever homes

Trent Alexander-Arnold reveals private texts from Liverpool stars ahead of Anfield return

Heartless mum kills daughter, 17, and son, 7, after falling for sick 'zombie' hoax

I've lived in TWO castles, including one that had a swimming pool as a moat - here's how you can stay in them too

Inside the country with visa-free entry for almost everyone - and the most beautiful beaches in the world

Kaia Gerber, 24, and her mother Cindy Crawford, 59, look identical in figure-hugging sparkly dresses at LACMA Art & Film Gala

Aid worker tells of 'nightmare' hundreds of thousands of people fleeing slaughter and starvation sweeping across Sudan

From Pop Idol to Pope Idol! Scottish singer Michelle McManus shares the stage with Pope Leo as she performs new hymn in Rome

Revealed: The perfect temperature to set your car heating at - and why you should NEVER wear your coat while driving

They're touted as a cure-all for everything, but are trendy magnesium supplements really worth your money? A dietician weighs in

Psychic Sally Morgan reveals the A-list star who turned on her when she predicted the end of their Hollywood marriage

Claudia Winkleman wore this brand over TEN times on Strictly Come Dancing and Celebrity Traitors - here are her top picks

Period drama dubbed 'the BBC's best kept secret' and 'top of its genre' is now free to stream on iPlayer - as fans rave 'how have I not heard of this before?!'

'I've been in Vogue, I'm signed to the same agency as Kate Moss, but I can't get work because of Mounjaro': Plus size models reveal they're having to get other jobs because fat jabs boom means 'thin is in'

The surprisingly scandalous world of knitting: From yarn dyers faking their own deaths to wars on woke and 'scam festivals'

Demand for air con rockets by 63 per cent in the UK after record-breaking summer temperatures

Moment Huntingdon train attack suspect is wrestled to the floor after knifeman left nine passengers fighting for their lives - as police say two men held on suspicion of attempted murder

Elliott Wright reveals why he's really selling his €7.5m Spanish restaurant loved by celebs following arson attack and tragic death

Time for a new numberplate Andy! Personalised registration plate for Land Rover used by the former Duke and Prince now out of date

Liz McClarnon, 44, gives birth: Atomic Kitten star welcomes her first child with husband Peter after an 'early and scary' labour and years of 'painful IVF'

What will really happen when the world ends: Terrifying simulation reveals how the apocalypse will encourage people to go on KILLING sprees

Revealed: The streets where your car is most likely to get stolen or broken into... so how dangerous is YOUR neighbourhood?

Anthony Hopkins, 87, suspects he may have a neurodivergence diagnosis but insists 'these labels are all nonsense… it's fashion'

The horrifying truth about life in Britain's biggest girlbands: All Saints, Atomic Kitten and Eternal stars reveal tales of fat camp stints, vicious infighting and being forced to have abortions in harrowing documentary

Trump tells military to prepare for 'action' against Islamist militants in Nigeria

Wolves sack Pereira after winless league start

Hurricane Melissa death toll rises to 28 in Jamaica

Food Stamp Cuts Expose Trump’s Strategy to Use Shutdown to Advance Agenda

Builders Find Hardship in Trump’s Tariffs And Deportations

For SNAP Recipients, Anxiety Over Funding Leads to Hard Choices