'I Can't Put Your Armpit In The Blender' And 17 Other Unhinged Things Kids Made Us Say

Parents are reflecting on the weirdest things they've said to their kids.Parenting means I say things that make me question whether I’m living in reality or existing in some kind of fever dream – and it turns out I’m not the only one. Parents are reflecting on some of the weirdest things they’ve said out loud to their kids – and it’s sure to be a hard relate for anyone who frequently spends time with little ones. User monitza took to Reddit’s r/Parenting forum to kick things off, revealing they’ve previously told their kids: “We don’t kiss the garbage can, my love”, and (my personal favourite), “I can’t put your armpit in the blender”. Oh to be a fly on their wall. Here are some other phrases parents found themselves uttering aloud:1. “Don’t lick the back of the chairs!”- cusmrtgrl2. “I can’t sing a song about the lightbulb when I’m on the toilet, I need to focus, please.”- monitza3. “Please don’t wipe your poop on the chairs at the pool.”- useless_mermaid4. “No, we don’t pee in other people’s faces.”- scarpy75. “No, the cat doesn’t want to wear your underwear as a hat.”- FaithlessnessOwn92406. “We don’t use our butt to carry things around the house.”- Mo5237. “Do not hit the dog’s wiener with the fly swatter.”- scarpy78. “We do not microwave socks, even if they’re cold.”- FaithlessnessOwn92409. “Faces do not belong in toilets.”- scarpy710. “You can’t ask to see people’s bums.”- SotonSwede11. “Stop eating your brother’s hair!”- Brief-Conclusion-42112. “We don’t put insects in our pockets.”- SotonSwede13. “Please stop putting the baby’s feet in your mouth.”- girl_from_away14. “Please don’t lick the cat.”- SarMai15. “Please stop putting your foot in my pocket.”- PeachTeaPleas16. “We don’t show our penis to people on the bus.”- SotonSwedeRelated...Ed Sheeran Has 1 Bit Of Parenting Advice For First-Time DadsI'm A Parenting Coach, Here's Why You Should 'Sportscast' To Your KidsI'm A Parenting Coach – This Is How To Get A Child With ADHD To Listen

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