I Do Stand-Up Comedy For A Living – But My 10-Year-Old Is My Toughest Critic

I am extremely lucky: I am a stand-up comedian and a father. People often say to me that dealing with hecklers must be the worst...They’ve clearly never changed a nappy in the dark when your child has diarrhoea.As a comedian I’m used to hecklers. There are not many jobs where it’s acceptable for a drunk person to shout at you whilst you’re working. Can you imagine a heart surgeon performing an operation whilst some drunk bloke screamed ”…call that a triple bypass?!” Yet somehow it’s part of the magic of live comedy.Recently, however, I experienced a form of feedback 10 times more brutal.I did something really foolish. I promised my son I would write him a book. In retrospect I should have promised him a bike like any normal parent, but I decided to try and turn a made-up bedtime story into a children’s book.So, I wrote it, I honed it, I polished it – then when it was finally finished, I had a copy delivered to my house. And I was terrified…It’s one thing to be critiqued by drunks, but to have your work scrutinised by a 10-year-old? Petrifying.The author.Like all children, my son can be savagely honest. He was recently disappointed by Star Wars because “there weren’t enough sheep in it”.One of the most successful movie franchises of all time dismissed because of its lack of livestock. So, what chance did my debut children’s book stand?I wrote Teachers vs Aliens to encourage my son (and all children) to love reading. I wanted to write something funny that parents could enjoy, too.But fun and empowering can be a tricky combination to get right.I remember once trying to inspire my son by telling him if he worked hard he could be anything he wanted, to which he smiled, puffed up his chest and said: “Brilliant! In that case, when I’m older I’m going to be a dragon!”Like I said: a tricky combination.I nervously handed the book to my son who scurried away like a dog with a bone, leapt on the sofa and devoured it.Sometime later he entered the room with the silent stride of an executioner and placed the book on my desk.“Do you know the problem with this book?” he truth-bombed me.Problem? I thought. This couldn’t be good? Nobody ever starts a sentence about something they like by pointing out its faults. No child has ever said: “Do you know the problem with pizza?”My pint-sized executioner stared me in the eye and continued: “The problem with this book dad, was that I couldn’t put it down!”He then smiled and skipped out of the room. It was the kindest, most nerve-wracking verbal assassination I’ve ever experienced. I was in emotional shock.Then he popped his head back around the door and said: “But the next book should have more sheep in it.”Give me a heckler any day!Teachers vs Aliens vs the Kids! is published 15 May. Related...I’m A Teacher – Not Saying This 1 Word Is Making Kids ‘Unteachable’I Didn't Recognise Myself After Having 3 Kids – Salvation Came From A Surprising PlaceAre You 'Sittervising' Your Kids? The Latest Parenting Trend Explained

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