'I Ended A Years-Long Friendship Over A Sunscreen Argument. Was I Wrong?'

Women on a beachI have a rule I follow religiously before going on holiday with anyone (friends, family, partner included) – before we leave, I tell them, we have to agree on a relaxation to activities ratio.Personally, I want to be supine 90% of the time. If their needs are too different to mine, I am ruthless; I refuse to be one of those couples or friend groups arguing on holiday, so I insist we take breaks apart. That sounds a bit extreme, but I can’t help but wonder if Redditor u/Kxrn420 might not have benefited from a similar strictness. Venting to the social media site, the 19-year-old wrote that she “Went on vacation with my bestie, came back as mortal enemies.” So, we spoke to licensed mental health counsellor Victoria Lichtenstein about why so many relationships fall apart abroad. The trip fell apart almost instantlyAccording to the original poster (OP), the pair, who had been best friends since she was 11, had been planning the holiday for years. But almost as soon as they landed, she said, “chaos” ensued. First, their accommodation was much further from the beach than was advertised. Then, on the second day, OP’s friend “decides she absolutely NEEDS to pet a street dog,” resulting in a bite that needed a doctor’s visit.On the third day, OP went snorkelling with her friend, who, despite insisting she was alright with the activity, freaked out because “a fish was looking at her.” But it was on day three that the poster got the “final straw.”“She spent our entire brunch loudly Facetiming her boyfriend, crying because I was ‘being mean’ by suggesting sunscreen,” the post author wrote, adding that their relationship seems to be over. Why do relationships fall apart on holidays?Lichtenstein told us that one of the reasons our relationships can feel the strain on holidays is that our “good behaviour” clock simply runs out. “At home, we can curate our social selves... but crammed into an Airbnb for days? The mask slips,” she shared.“Sleep deprivation, disrupted routines, and zero personal space turn minor quirks into full-blown rage triggers.” Additionally, if there’s an odd number of people or a large group, members can quickly gang up on a person. Even broader issues, like different income levels, can be clearer when you’re all working out how to spend your precious days off, she continues. “The fix? Lower expectations, pre-negotiate budgets, and – crucially – plan solo time,” the counsellor advised.“Even BFFs need breaks from each other. Because the best souvenir is a friendship that survives the return flight.” Related...'My Mother-In-Law Insulted My WFH Job. Was My Response Unfair?''My Partner Vaped Suring Sex. Was My Reaction Unfair?''I Ghosted My Friend After She Asked To Split Her Birthday Bill. Was I Unfair?'

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