'I Refused To Split Holiday Costs With My Rich Friend. Am I In The Wrong?'

Woman looking fed up with friendsIf the warmer weather (and increased socialising) will teach you anything, it’s that “income gap” friendships are definitely a thing. Credit Karma released a poll in 2023 which found 88% of millennials have taken on debt after hanging out with a wealthier friend – and that’s before you consider things like weddings, holiday plans, and extravagant birthdays. So it’s no wonder people like Redditor Patient-Hunt9224 feel lost when it comes to how to handle the friendship wealth gap. Writing on r/AITAH (Reddit’s Am I The Asshole Here forum), she asked: “AITA for refusing to split costs equally with a friend who makes a lot more than me?” We asked Liz Hunter, director at Money Expert, about how to handle the issue.The original poster (OP) said money had always been an issue between the twoThough the pair have been friends since secondary school, the poster said money has proven “a sore spot” between them as adults. “She’s been in a high-paying tech job for years, and I’ve always worked more modest jobs in non-profits,” the poster explained.When the women go out to eat together or head to an event, they split everything 50/50, which OP admitted shirts her wallet and has led to some “resentment”.Though she recently started earning more money, the poster added a recent girls’ trip suggestion was the final straw. Her friend “picked all the hotels (4-star, expensive ones), fancy dinners, private tours, the works,” the Redditor said. “She assumed we’d split everything 50/50, like we always have.” But the post author refused, saying she’d have picked cheaper options if she had more say and that even though she could afford it now, she wanted to avoid the kind of “lifestyle creep” that led her to “waste” money. In response, the poster said her friend “accused me of ’pretending to still be poor; and trying to cheap out. She said that now that I’m doing better, I should act like it.′“A few of our mutual friends kind of agree with her – they think I should just ‘live a little’ and split things like always,” she added. The problem isn’t going to get any easier Hunter said it’s likely we’ll see more examples of the wealth gap, particularly as the cost of living crisis has affected millions of households.Those differences can be easier to ignore in school and university. But once you’re out in the working world, she said “you could have a friend earning double your income while you’re still struggling to pay the bills”.And that might cause “conflict and resentment,” the money expert continued. “The natural thing may be to try and keep up with their lifestyle, but this could lead to overspending and risking getting into debt,” she said.“To help avoid any potential awkwardness around money, be upfront with your friends and have that discussion about boundaries and your own financial limitations early on.”Ultimately, she said, it’s key to set clear financial limits and flat-out refuse to do things you know will harm your budget. A good friend will understand and work to find a compromise. She suggested that instead of meals out, for example, “you could offer to cook for each other and even write out a menu or have set themes to make it more fun”.Related...'I Ghosted My Friend After She Asked To Split Her Birthday Bill. Was I Unfair?''My Wife Wants Me To Become A Stay-At-Home-Dad. Are My Financial Terms Fair?''I Ruined My Boyfriend's Mum's Birthday After 1 Comment. Was I Wrong?'

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