'I Stopped Splitting Rent With My Husband After 1 Sentence From My Mother-In-Law. Did I Overreact?

Woman reading billCheating isn’t just limited to romantic partners, experts say – “financial infidelity,” or lying about or concealing money-related issues, can sting just as much.It can take the form of fibbing about debt, secret spending, and even lying about your secret wealth. It seems Redditor u/Hexylpuff is going through the latter struggle. Writing to r/AITAH (Am I The Asshole Here), the 31-year-old asked: “AITAH for finding out I’ve been unknowingly paying rent to my husband and his mom for TWO YEARS?” So, we spoke to William “Bill” London, a divorce attorney and partner at Kimura London & White LLP, about how to talk money with your spouse. The couple have been married for two yearsThe original poster (OP) says she married her husband “Brian” two years ago.The pair moved into a flat supposedly rented at a discount from a “family friend” after their wedding, and have always split bills evenly. This includes both rent and utilities. For the poster, this costs about £530 a month (admittedly an amazing deal for a rental). But OP says that at a barbecue recently, she overheard her mother-in-law say, “It’s nice getting rent from Brian’s place” and “how smart they were to keep it in the family.” On confronting her husband, OP says she found out her mother-in-law owned the flat and that Brian’s name is also on the papers.“He never told me. Just let me keep paying rent for two years like a clueless roommate,” she shares. Apparently, he never told her because “she never asked.” Her husband said she was “overreacting” because the “rent” was so reasonable.But the poster feels blindsided, saying, “It’s not just the money, it’s the secrecy.” She ends: “I told him I won’t keep paying until we talk about a fair setup. Now he’s acting like I’m the problem.”“It crosses the line from privacy to deception” London tells HuffPost UK that financial strain ends more marriages than most of us realise.“While every couple sets their own financial boundaries, I believe that in a marriage – especially one involving shared expenses – full financial transparency is not just healthy, it’s essential,” he adds. In this case, the lawyer thinks that, “When a partner consciously misrepresents important fiscal information to the other, as by pretending to have non-existent housing costs, it crosses the line from privacy to deception.” This can destroy the trust needed for a healthy marriage, he continues. “Married couples are expected to be transparent about important financial information,” he advises. “This doesn’t mean total merging of their finances or the disclosure of all trivial expenses, but hiding ownership of a mortgage-free property and asking a spouse to share in imaginary financial burdens is manipulative behaviour needing a direct confrontation.” In other words, OP hit the nail on the head when she said the money isn’t the main issue – it’s about respect, trust, and honesty.Related...'My Wife Wants Me To Become A Stay-At-Home-Dad. Are My Financial Terms Fair?''My Husband Microwaved My Breastmilk And I'm Upset. Am I Overreacting?'2 Words From My Husband Made My Blood Run Cold. Am I Overreacting?

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