I Thought I'd Stay In My Tiny Christian Community Forever. Then One Night At Church, I Saw Something That Changed Everything.

The author as a girl growing up in the church.The cool breeze blowing from the air-conditioning vent above me made my skin prickle as goosebumps spread across my sweaty neck. I sat impatiently in the pew at the very back of the church and shifted uncomfortably in my skirt and blouse. I hated wearing those clothes, but church etiquette dictated that I dress nicely and modestly to attend. I would’ve much preferred shorts and a T-shirt. I glanced at my watch. They should have started already, I thought to myself impatiently. Then I noticed the pastor get up and make his way to the pulpit. Excitement spread a smile across my face as the buzzing congregation went silent. After a quiet prayer that I barely listened to, the first of the evening’s speakers was introduced, and I sat up taller in my seat, shifting to see around the woman in a grey dress seated in front of me. Her blown-out hair sat high on her head, covered obediently with a doily to reflect her commitment to her faith. At the pulpit, a handsome man with a friendly smile began to introduce his blonde wife, who was also in a fine dress and head covering. Beside them stood four children, lined up in steps, all with white-blonde hair, ranging in age from 16 to 2. The youngest, a boy, twirled around in front of the others, unable to keep still. These are the missionaries I have heard so much about in the weeks prior. Their story is the one I am so eager to hear.I grew up in a remote community of only 300 people on the tiny island of Man-O-War Cay, at the edge of the Atlantic Ocean. It was the kind of place where kids rarely wore shoes all summer, riding bikes to the next makeshift fort or game. The kind of place where neighbours kept a watchful eye for skinned knees or cries for help. A community where people never locked their doors and you greeted every person you passed by name. With three churches and zero bars, it was also a very Christian community ― Brethren and Pentecostal ― where almost everyone attended church services. There were the two Sunday morning services, and then Sunday evening service where sacraments were taken, plus the Wednesday evening service, as well as the youth group and the occasional church bake sale. Ours was also the type of community where the lady in the grocery store on Monday morning would ask if you had been ill on Sunday, because surely that was the only possible reason why you had missed church.As a teenager, my life wasn’t predestined, but it was mapped out ― not by fate, but by the decades-long path I expected to follow. Once I finished high school, I expected to marry my teenage sweetheart, who was three years my senior. We would get a mortgage and house right away, and have two or three kids. I’d stay home with the children, or I might work as a secretary or cashier. It was a future I was excited about, as were all my peers. The tiny island in the Bahamas where the author grew up.Once or twice a year, my pre-planned family life would include a trip to South Florida for shopping, movies, recreation and maybe a trip to Disney World. If we saved enough and were adventurous in the future, perhaps we might take a Carnival Cruise through the Caribbean. One family on the island even made semi-regular trips to Nashville, a place that once felt distinguished and cultured. All were places that were easy and familiar in some way ― vacations planned for a change of scenery, not too far outside the comfortable zone. By the time I was 15, I was attending most of the services regularly out of obligation and a desire to “be a good person.” However, my heart was never truly in it except during the fourth week of June every year, when the New Life Missions Conference was held.The handsome missionary and his family had strong southern accents, and they told stories of their upbringing in the hills of Tennessee before God called them to do His work in South Africa. A projector was set up, and the lights in the church were dimmed as the young missionary shared images of the school they had built on the outskirts of a remote African village. He spoke of his “calling” and the need to spread the word of Jesus throughout the “wilds” of this foreign place. Intermingled with images of young men sawing trees and constructing a thatch roof, were photos of breathtaking vistas and animals I had only seen on National Geographic. As I looked at the enthralling images, there was a moment, unexpected and unintentional, when I felt my world, and its possibilities, expand.I came back eagerly the next night to hear the stories of the older couple from Michigan whom God had called to preach in Thailand. I immersed myself in their home videos, not drawn to their message of conversion or the saving of lost souls, but to their faraway landscapes, the motion and the “elsewhereness” of it all. I wanted to do “that,” but did “that” mean I wanted to be a missionary? I questioned myself, zoning out on the evenings’ sermon as a donation basket was passed around. Even in my teenage mind, where the possibilities were endless, as I searched my soul, I did not find a calling, at least not a religious one. Instead, I found the seeds of wanderlust being planted; a yearning to go.The storytelling was meant to incite the faithful with a desire to convert more people to Christianity (or at least open their wallets to support those doing this good work.) Instead, it allowed me to witness a world far wider than my tiny island, and seeing it, sparked a need to go further.Years later, as a young adult, I pulled away from the religion of my childhood, and I moved away from the island. The expectations and culture had always felt restrictive and forced, even as I faithfully showed up for services weekly. I never felt like I belonged in the bible study groups as the devoted Christian housewife, even though I had learned the teachings and could easily talk the talk. I followed along the only path I thought was an option, masquerading in a costume that sometimes felt like a straitjacket. It just never connected with my soul.Instead, I connected with the far-off places, presented to me on a grainy projector once a year, when religion meant feeling the sense that the world was calling me. The author visiting Iceland in 2017.Growing up, I didn’t know life held paths beyond the righteous — yet isolated — Christian family route laid before me. As an adult, I embraced my love for women and was fortunate to find my soulmate just one island over. For the past 18 years, traveling extensively with my wife and our daughter has shown me that there is no single right way to live; the “right way” shifts with time, place and season. I left the church behind, choosing not to stay in the faith, but I followed a path first presented to me there. Many years after those nights spent enthralled by missionary stories, I visited places as far off as Denmark and Italy, Hawaii and the Grand Canyon, even the ancient ruins of Tulum. Decades after my first Missions Conference, I stood in the remote lava fields of the Snersfellness Peninsular in Iceland and marveled at the spiritual connection to nature I felt there, having never experienced that connection to the teachings I so diligently followed in my youth. Journeys around the world have sparked conversations with strangers who became friends and, at times, chosen family — connections rooted in the joy of shared travel stories. Traveling taught me to expand my sense of what’s possible, but most of all it showed me that connection and joy deepens through the landscapes, cultures and places we come to know.I did not choose a life of conversion, but rather a life filled with connection. And it has taken me far beyond the church pew on that tiny island, to places that I never could have imagined. Do you have a compelling personal story you’d like to see published on HuffPost? Find out what we’re looking for here and send us a pitch at [email protected]’m A Bisexual Woman. I’m Also A Christian. Here’s How I Came To Accept Myself.I’m A Horny Christian. Here’s How I Learned To Own My Sexuality.Young Christians Are Skipping Church But Keeping The Faith

Comments

Breaking news

Volodymyr Zelenskyy Mocks Reporter Who Attacked Him For Not Wearing A Suit

Huffpost uk

Comments

Breaking news

Volodymyr Zelenskyy Mocks Reporter Who Attacked Him For Not Wearing A Suit

2 gunmen among 3 killed in New York City bar shooting, police say; 2 other shooters still at large

The Latest: European leaders arrive for White House meeting on Russia-Ukraine war

California mom and her 8-month-old daughter who were missing for weeks are found dead in submerged vehicle

What to know about powerful Hurricane Erin as it heads toward the US East Coast

Children’s supplement recalled over fears it contains prescription-only sleep drug

Maryland's first-in-the-nation tax on digital ads violated Big Tech's free speech, judges say

FTSE 100 edges up ahead of Trump-Zelensky talks

Chick-fil-A restaurant introduces new chaperone policy to deter teenage customers

Flights resuming at Reagan airport in DC area after fire alarm in the tower halted all traffic

Trump sees bump in approval rating after meeting with Russia’s Putin

‘Frankenstein rabbits’ scare prompts new fears of ‘zombie squirrel’ plague

Four dead as Spain hit by worst wildfires on record in 45C heatwave

Soho House agrees to go private again in a deal led by hotel giant MCR

‘Ozempic for dogs’ may be the next big thing in pet health

Watch live: Trump and Zelensky meet at White House for crucial Ukraine talks

Orders down: DC area restaurants feeling the squeeze as Trump’s police takeover decreases foot traffic

Attack halts Russian oil pipeline hours before Trump-Zelensky ceasefire talks

Former Sinaloa cartel kingpin Ismael 'El Mayo' Zambada set to plead guilty

No. 1 Texas, No. 2 Penn St each place 3 players on Associated Press preseason All-America first team

Work to fix ‘botched’ restoration of Virgin Mary statue leaves her ‘even worse’

European leaders arrive to meet Trump at White House and support Zelensky

Walking May Slash Dementia Risk, Especially If You Carry This Gene

'Quiet Cracking' At Work? The 43 Rule May Help

You will get a lifetime pension by investing a spectacular plan of LIC, Rs 40,000 by investing Rs 1300

America is making a big revelation on America, Trump's 'Munir's strategy' against India

Gold Silver Rate: Gold prices fell below 'Dhadam' and silver prices rise

BCCI will announce 2 teams in a single day for this tournament with BCCI, Asia Cup.

Terrifying plague of ‘zombie squirrels’ erupts as critters covered in oozing pus-filled sores are seen swarming gardens

Hurricane Erin could bring end to UK dry spell with rain after bank holiday weekend

Wooden church to be slowly inched down Arctic road as part of town relocation

Son of Norway’s crown princess charged with 32 counts including rape

Cops first ruled a 94-year-old man’s death to be natural. Now, they say his 71-year-old son-in-law killed him

Shark tears huge bite-sized chunk out of surfer’s board in terrifying close encounter

September 2025 payment dates for benefits and pensions plus cost of living support

How to watch the 2025 US Open on TV, betting odds, the schedule, seedings and more to know

Signs of thaw as the Indian and Chinese foreign ministers meet in New Delhi

Jeanine Pirro turned down the FBI job that went to Dan Bongino, report says

Sultana accuses Corbyn of ‘capitulation’ over antisemitism in attack on new party co-leader

Air Canada flight attendants’ strike declared illegal after planes grounded for days

Quiz: Which of these words made it into the Cambridge Dictionary this year?

Devo's misunderstood art-rock legacy explored in new documentary

FIFA President Gianni Infantino condemns 'unacceptable' racism after incidents at German Cup games

Zelensky is coming to the White House with France and the UK standing behind him - but who’s side is Trump on?

Trump says he will sign executive order and lead ‘movement’ against mail-in voting

Death toll in Russian factory fire rises to 24

Newsmax pays Dominion $67 million to settle lawsuit over MAGA network’s election lies

Man in hospital after tractor falls from bridge onto motorway

Semi-truck driver arrested after making illegal U-turn on Florida highway killing three people

Second council removes St George’s flags hung by locals for maintenance

Harvard researcher attacked by ‘five teens’ after asking them to be quiet during a screening of Weapons

Trump ally says criminal investigations into Obama and Biden are imminent

Man racially abused by thug wearing football top during brutal attack in Scots town

You can spot the Perseid meteor shower until August 24 - what you need to know

Wowcher beats Amazon's price on newest Echo Dot in 'fast selling' online deal

Oasis' Liam Gallagher hits out again at Edinburgh Council in Dublin reunion show

Pedestrian assaulted and racially abused in 'unprovoked' attack in Lanarkshire village

Super slimmer set to wed after shedding half his body weight to save his life

Man seriously injured after tractor falls off bridge on to motorway

Sally Rooney risks committing terror offence if she funds Palestine Action, No 10 says