I'm A Parenting Coach – This Is Why So Many Kids Can't Seem To Sit Still

If you’re the parent of a small child, you’re probably quite familiar with the fact they just can’t seem to sit still. And there’s a reason for that.According to parenting coach and hypnotherapsit Jo Walker, it’s down to a biological need.In a TikTok video, Walker explained that her son is five and “his legs haven’t stopped moving since he came out of the womb”.“He’s bouncing, wriggling, crashing into furniture, rolling off the sofa like it’s an Olympic event – and I used to think, ‘Is he just ignoring me?’ or ‘is he being defiant?’. But here’s the truth: it’s not bad behaviour, it’s biology,” she said.The expert explained that young children, especially boys, are “wired” for movement. “Oscar’s not trying to wind me up when he dives headfirst into a pile of cushions, his brain is seeking input,” Walker explained.“His nervous system is learning how to regulate through physical movement. When kids crash, jump, wriggle, spin – it’s not chaos for the sake of chaos, it’s actually how they build stronger neural pathways. Movement helps their brain develop, helps them focus, and helps them feel calm.”The magic of movementMovement is really important for children – as the National Institute For Play explains, “movement play makes kids stronger, more coordinated, more knowledgeable, and more emotionally competent”.The NHS recommends that toddlers and pre-school children are active every day for at least 180 minutes (that’s three hours) but ideally: the more, the better. “The 180 minutes can include light activity such as standing up, moving around, rolling and playing, as well as more energetic activity like skipping, hopping, running and jumping,” said the health service.For children aged five to 18, it advises at least 60 minutes of moderate or vigorous intensity physical activity a day, as well as engaging in a variety of types and intensities of physical activity across the week to develop movement skills, muscles and bones.Of course, there’s always a time and a place for movement – and when you’re trying to get your child to eat some dinner and they can’t keep still, it can be pretty trying.But according to experts at Understood, most young children can’t sit still for long periods of time (we’re talking 5-10 minutes max for three-year-olds and 15 minutes for five-year-olds, so really small bursts). It’s a skill they develop over the years – and some kids will find it more difficult than others.Sometimes it can help to direct their energy into movement-based play. In response to Walker’s video, a parent asked: “Is there a way to direct it better? My LB [little boy] is 2.5 and I’m trying to ‘control’ it better.”She said she offers options like dancing to music, jumping on piles of cushions, and punching or kicking cushions. “He won’t sit still and we are constantly outside so he can run around,” added the parent. “Just need to think of more ways that are safe at home.”The parenting coach responded with some more options for kids to release energy and regulate, such as:Animal races: encourage your child to crawl like a bear, stomp like a dinosaur, or slither like a snake.Laundry basket rides: pull them around in a laundry basket with a towel or rope.Tug of war, with a towel or resistance band.Obstacle course: use pillows, tape lines on the floor, tunnels from chairs and blankets.Throw-and-catch station: use socks or soft toys against a wall or into a bucket.Walker added: “Call it ‘energy time’ so it feels fun, not like a punishment. Then follow with a calm activity (snack, story, massage) to help him downshift.”When might a child’s constant movement be a sign of ADHD?Sometimes a child’s incessant movement can be down to feeling anxious, excited or even tired. Sometimes it can be a sign of something else.We know, for instance, that some kids with ADHD might have high energy levels, fidget a lot or tap their hands and feet, and be quite restless. In this instance, you might want to be asking some other questions (outlined by Great Ormond Street Hospital for Children), such as: Does my child have a shorter attention span than other children of the same developmental age? Is my child always restless, fidgety, on the go and out of their seat at mealtimes? And does their school give similar reports?Is my child very impatient and unable to wait their turn in a queue or game?Is my child very excitable and impulsive? Do they child suddenly do things such as darting into the road without thinking about whether it is safe?If the answer to these questions is yes, and it’s having an impact on your child’s life, it’s worth speaking to your GP who can refer them for assessment so they can get the right support.Related...I'm A Parenting Coach, Here's How I Stopped My Son's Tantrum In 7 SecondsWhen Is A Child's Rage More Than Just A Tantrum?A Couple Took Their Baby On Holiday, But Not Their Toddler – And You Can Imagine The Comments

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