Michelle Obama Just Named A Grief Too Many Parents Carry Alone

Michelle ObamaIn her recent appearance on the Jay Shetty podcast, former First Lady Michelle Obama shared that she’s in therapy for “empty nester syndrome” (a term that refers to feelings of sadness and loss when children leave home). “At this phase of my life, I’m in therapy right now because I’m transitioning, you know?” she said. “I’m 60 years old, I’ve finished a really hard thing in my life with my family intact, I’m an empty nester, my girls are in – you know, they’ve been launched.” Her children, Malia (who graduated from Harvard in 2021) and Sasha (who completed her studies at the University of Southern California in 2023), are 26 and 23, respectively. HuffPost UK asked experts why they think becoming an “empty nester” can be so tough, and how to spot if you might need help.“Therapy can be incredibly beneficial during transitional times” Dr Pamela Walters, a consultant psychiatrist, says therapy can be “incredibly beneficial during transitional times,” she tells us, be they positive or negative.That can include “empty-nest” syndrome, divorce, moving home, retiring, or starting a new job. “These moments can subtly or sometimes dramatically shift our sense of what we feel is our identity, sense of purpose and emotional balance,” the psychiatrist adds. “Transitions tend to disrupt our usual routines and support systems, and that can stir up underlying issues we’ve potentially long managed to compartmentalise.” Meanwhile, licensed trauma and relationship therapist Shawnessa Devonish Ford says there’s a term for this sort of loss: “disenfranchised grief,” or “the non-traditional losses that go unnoticed, including the loss of a job, living situations, children going to college, etc.” She adds, “Existential challenges are unavoidable during transitional times, which is why therapy is highly recommended.” How can I tell if I need to go to therapy during a transitional time?You might notice some changes to your mood or behaviour, Dr Walters says – maybe you’ll be more teary, irritable, anxious, numb, or detached. “These can all be subtle signs that your emotional system is trying to adapt, and therapy can help make sense of those feelings before they escalate,” she says. Devonish Ford says that if you’re lashing out at others, feeling purposeless, isolating yourself, experiencing low self-esteem, and losing interest in things you love, you might want to speak to a professional. Dr Walters adds that “It’s encouraging to see a public figure speak openly about seeking therapy. It helps break down the myth that therapy is only for crisis points.“In reality, it can be a proactive, empowering step, especially during times of change, when you’re trying to reconnect with who you are and where you’re headed next.” Related...It's Our First Christmas As Empty Nesters, And This Suggestion From My Husband Had Me SpirallingMichelle Obama Reveals What 'No One Tells You' About Fertility StrugglesMichelle Obama Shares The Personal Reason She Will Never, Ever Run For President

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