My Daughter Is Autistic. We Need To Talk About The Cost Of Raising SEND Kids

Kirsty, Dean and their daughter HarperRaising a child in 2025 is not cheap – according to LV, it costs parents an average of £12,400 per year up until they’re 18 years old. (And the more kids you have, the higher this will be.)For parents of children with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND), the annual cost is even higher – childcare is often more expensive and parents may have to fork out for specialist therapies, home adaptations and medication.Kirsty, a mum from Berkshire, has opened up about the additional emotional and financial cost of raising a disabled child. Her six-year-old daughter Harper has autism, hyperlexia, sensory processing difficulties, and restrictive eating patterns.“We first suspected that Harper was autistic when she was just under a year old,” said Kirsty.“She didn’t respond to her name, and she couldn’t maintain eye contact with us. Later, she was non-verbal, until one day when she surprised us by reading out loud! Over time, we realised it was more complex than autism alone.”Harper’s additional needs mean her family spends just over £4,000 extra each year for tools and resources to help support her. These include: Specialist therapies (occupational and speech therapy): £80 per hour for each therapy, with one of each session costing £160 a month and £1,920 a year.Sensory tools (wobble boards, wobble cushions, ear defenders, etc): About £500 a year.Adaptive clothing (sensory clothing, specific fabrics): £500 a year.Learning resources (ongoing costs for toys, books, school materials, therapy subscriptions and online SEND courses): £500 a yearMobility aids (mobility buggy): £700The family gets Child Benefit, Disability Living Allowance (DLA), and Carer’s Allowance totalling around £800 a month. Kirsty is unable to work as she’s her daughter’s primary carer (Harper attends school but does reduced hours), so they are relying on this and her partner’s income to get by.A recent survey by Parentkind found more than a quarter of parents of SEND children had taken time off work to look after their kids, and 15% gave up work altogether to care for them.Just over a third (34%) said they face financial strain due to all the additional costs.Learning Disability Network London estimates families of children with SEND face an extra £581 in monthly costs – and for one in five families, this figure exceeds £1,000.Over the course of a year, this soon mounts up – costing anywhere between £7,000 and £12,000. That’s in addition to the standard costs of raising a child. “We’ve had to cut down the specialist sessions to save. Debt is an issue, and even when we think we’re in the clear, somehow we land back in it,” explained Kirsty. “My savings are non-existent, having been used to top up accounts for bills and unexpected costs. It doesn’t help that anything used for disabilities automatically has a ‘suped-up price tag’.”Some days, Kirsty; who has functional neurological disorder which can cause symptoms such as arm and leg weakness, seizures, and fatigue; said she will “cry quietly in the corner”.“I often get told off for not looking after myself, but parenting a disabled child means sacrificing a lot because your child’s needs always come first,” she said. “The cost of living has increased so much that many SEND families are being squeezed. It would be amazing to see better support from the government and local councils for disabled households.“The SEND system is broken, and the constant fight for our children’s rights is beyond exhausting.”Parents like Kirsty are having to get creative to try and find ways to bring costs down in daily life. She uses a site called Purpl Discounts, which helps people in the UK offset the cost of living with disabilities by offering discounts and deals from a huge number of brands. “Our normal weekly shop is usually around £100, but with Purpl Discounts I managed to get everything for about £90, which has helped,” said Kirsty. The parent said she’s on track to save about £480 this year thanks to discount codes from the provider – some parents can save up to £700 a year. Georgina Colman, founder of Purpl Discounts, said: “As a disabled person myself, I know firsthand how expensive life can be. That’s part of why I started Purpl, and I’m proud we’re helping families like Kirsty’s.“But the truth is, they shouldn’t have to rely on discounts to get by. Life with a disability is expensive, and policymakers are failing to recognise that.”Related...I Run An Assessment Clinic – Here Are 7 Signs Of Autism To Spot In ChildrenPeople Love To Ask Invasive Questions About My Son's Autism. These Are The Only Ones I'll Answer'We Must Do Better': Taskforce To Help SEND Children Launches In UK

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