My Kids Are Asking About All The England Flags. What Should I Tell Them?

St George's Cross flags, the national flag of England, fly from lamp posts outside houses on a residential street in Stanwell, west London on August 27, 2025. English flags are cropping up in towns and cities across much of the country – and even further afield (a village in Wales woke up one morning to find St George’s Cross graffiti plastered across signs and bus stops).While these flags usually crop up during football tournaments, children are asking why they’re being flown – and in some cases, graffitied, now – and for some parents, they don’t know where to even begin.Such was the case for one parent who took to Mumsnet to say their children, aged eight and 11 years old, were “asking about the current influx of England flags”.“How do you explain it?” asked the parent. “I’ve tried to explain it but to be honest I don’t really understand it fully myself, and think I’ve just bumbled out a lot of rubbish that they don’t really get. Any ideas on an age appropriate way?”While some people say they are being proud and patriotic by flying the flag, given the wider context and division around immigration right now, as well as how the flag has been co-opted by far-right groups, it can be a tricky area for parents to navigate when kids ask what it all means.Responses were mixed. One commenter said: “In a nutshell people are displaying the flag in what they feel is a rebellious act against a government which doesn’t listen to them or, in fact, care about them in any way at all.”Another said: “At 8 and 11, I would presume that they have an understanding of racism? I would just explain that there are sadly still a lot of racists around, and that some of them like to express this by flying the flag.“I would also explain, of course, that there is nothing inherently racist about the flag itself, but that the racists were trying to claim it for their own cause.”It’s certainly a tricky one – and not something they write about in your average parenting advice books. So, I enlisted the help of a therapist who works with young people, and a clinical psychologist, to advise parents on the best approach to take. How to talk to kids about the influx of England flagsThe issue is the flag has multiple meanings – and not only this, it means different things to different people. While some might see it as a way to say you’re proud to be English, others might see it as a sign of division and hatred.And this is even more confusing for children.Fiona Yassin, family psychotherapist and founder of The Wave Clinic, told HuffPost UK: “The double meaning of some flags and symbols can leave children and young people confused.“It’s important to remember that children are often asking questions from a place of curiosity, not judgement. When a question feels loaded for parents, they may try and defend it, which can create anxiety in parenting.“Avoid answering questions from this standpoint and try not to parent through the lens of anxiety. Stick to short, understandable sentences and simple, age appropriate explanations.”Both experts agree that a balanced and open approach is best. But how much detail you offer will depend on the age of your child.For primary school-age childrenYassin suggested connecting the discussion to real-life examples to help make it more meaningful for a child. For this conversation, parents may want to use the concept of team or house colours at school. “You could explain that flags are similar to team colours at school. Just like cheering for the purple team on sports day shows that you’re part of a team, a flag can show pride in a place or a group,” she explained.The therapist said parents could share that being excited about a team or a flag “doesn’t mean that we are better than anyone else” or that “we should leave anyone out”.“For example, cheering for the purple team doesn’t mean the green, yellow or red teams are less important,” she said. “Introduce the idea of different messages. You might say ‘Flags can have nice meanings, like being proud of your home, but sometimes people use them to say unkind things about others. It’s important to be kind and inclusive, no matter what team you are in or flag you are waving’.”Dr Patapia Tzotzoli, clinical psychologist and founder of My Triage Network, told HuffPost UK the goal during these conversations is not to provide a single answer, “but to open a space for dialogue, showing children that it is possible to hold multiple perspectives while keeping compassion at the centre”.“In this way, they learn that while symbols may sometimes divide or unite, what matters most is treating people with kindness, fairness, and inclusion,” she said.For tweens and teensIf your child is a bit older, it might also help to ask them what they think the flags mean. “Acknowledge and validate their feelings – whether they find the flags exciting or unsettling – and then explain that symbols can carry different meanings for different people,” said Dr Tzotzoli.“For example, for some, flags represent pride and belonging, while for others they may bring discomfort because of how flags are being used or have been used in the past.”Yassin urges parents to be “honest and balanced” when talking to kids about the flags. “Acknowledge that some people use flags to show unity, whilst others may use the same symbols in a way that are not kind or inclusive. Encourage them to think critically rather than telling them what to believe,” she said. The therapist stressed that “our job as parents is to empower children to be critical thinkers and make solid, valuable decisions, and to do that, we need to provide them with factual information”. You could discuss values and choices with your child, as part of this discussion. It might be helpful to show them that being part of something – whether that’s a team, a community, or a country – “should involve curiosity, respect, and fairness”, she added.“It’s okay to celebrate identity, but it should never come at the expense of being unkind or excluding others.”And if your child does share their viewpoint on the flags, the therapist warns not to “dismiss it”. “When children express their thoughts on these issues, as parents it’s important we actively listen and validate our child’s experiences. Being present and open for discussion is essential,” she said.“Ensure they know they will not be judged. Let your child know that there is no question too small or too silly to ask. If we encourage children to talk, we must ensure we meet it with empathy, and reassurance that they will not be judged. If children fear talking to us, it’s unlikely they will come to us when they need help the most.”Related...I'm An Ex-Paramedic. I Teach My Kids To Swear In This 1 Specific SituationUrgent Health Warning Issued Ahead Of Kids' Return To SchoolYour Child Was Called A Racist Slur. Here's How To Talk To Them About It

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