'My Partner Vaped Suring Sex. Was My Reaction Unfair?'

Hand holding a vapeWhen most of us talk about “unforgettable” sex, we usually mean it as a compliment. But though the term does apply to Redditor Express_Resolve_7267′s haunting case, we mean it in more of a... baffled sense. Taking to r/AmIOverreacting, the original poster (OP) posed the likely first-of-its-kind question: “AIO [Am I Overreacting]? He vaped mid-sex.” We spoke to licensed sexologist, couples therapist, and author at Passionerad.se, Sofie Roos, about how to handle the situation. The pair met on holiday The post author, a 24-year-old woman, says she met a man (34) on holiday with whom she went on to have “10/10” sex.“We hit it off instantly,” she said, but during a recent session, “he straight up stopped mid-thrust, and when I looked back to see what was happening…this man was hitting his lemon-flavoured vape.”As a vaper herself, she says she didn’t judge him for the habit in and of itself ― but she says she’s never felt that urge mid-“act” before. So, while she says she’s been “fantasising about the possibility of seeing where things could go between us,” she’s “spiralling” about his actions. “What does this mean? Is this a sign he’s not really present? Disrespectful? Just too comfortable? Or am I making a mountain out of a lemon-scented molehill?“What does it say about how he sees me or values the experience?” she asked (she has since shared in an edit that she did accept a hit of his vape at the time, adding “Unfortunately, the flavour was actually really nice”).It depends on your relationshipRoos tells us that whether the move is “acceptable or not completely depends on your relationship dynamic.”It can be “fully okay” if you’re both relaxed and playful about it, but if you feel “humiliated and got hurt from it, it wasn’t done in a way that was acceptable,” she adds. With that said, the sexologist reckons most of us would find the move a “turn-off.”“It’s easy to feel objectified, de-prioritised and not seen” in that scenario, she writes, adding it’s “a humiliating experience in most people’s opinion.” Surprisingly, though, the expert says she suspects this is far from the only case of mid-coitus vape hits. “This is a situation that’s not too unlikely to find yourself in, and if this happens to you, it’s very important to talk about the experience with your partner,” she tells HuffPost UK. “Sit down and explain how it made you feel, why it made you feel that way and that you don’t want it to happen again. Let your partner give their take on what happened, and try to talk with respect and understand each other’s side.“It can also help to try to come up with a compromise that feels OK for both of you,” she advises. “Maybe vaping during sex is a deal breaker, but letting your partner vape in bed after” works better, she suggests as an example.Related...'I Ghosted My Friend After She Asked To Split Her Birthday Bill. Was I Unfair?''I Took Revenge On My Dad For His Age Gap Relationship. Was I Unfair?''My Mother-In-Law Huffed At Me For Breastfeeding. Was My Reaction Unfair?'

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