'Only One Of My Twins Was Invited To A Kid's Birthday Party. WTF?!'

A parent has gone on an enraged rant after one of their children was invited to a classmate’s birthday party – but their twin sister wasn’t.“I know the birthday kid decides whom they invite. I know you’re not entitled to an invitation. But wtf is going on with inviting only one twin back when both of them have invited your kid to their own birthday party?!” asked the parent on Reddit.They explained that their four-year-old twins had recently had a joint birthday party at an indoor playground.Then, at daycare drop-off, their son found a birthday invitation on his shelf from one of the kids who had been at their party. But their daughter didn’t. “The puzzled look on her face broke my heart,” they added. The parent said they know their daughter isn’t entitled to an invitation, but they were still clearly very annoyed about it – “if you really can’t convince your kid to invite her ... do me a favour and don’t invite her twin either,” they wrote, adding that the whole situation “sucks”.Is it ever OK to invite one twin – and not the other – to a birthday party?They won’t be the first twin to not get invited to a party (and they won’t be the last). Plenty of commenters noted that it’s a “tough” situation to be in, especially for the left out twin, but it’s also “part and parcel” of twin life. “It is tough on us to help our kids navigate disappointment but honestly it is so important,” said one respondent. Some suggested it was “rude” not to invite both twins. “My twins get different invites for different friends, but at age 4, both in the same preschool and playing with the same kids, that’s a bit rough,” said one commenter. “Maybe this changes with culture between different places, but it would be pretty rude here.”According to etiquette expert Jo Hayes, this is a normal part of twin life – “they are two individual children, and have/will have individual friends”. This means invites will occasionally be extended to one twin and not the other.“While it’s tough on your daughter (and yourself, no doubt), learning how to navigate disappointment/situations like this is a valuable life skill,” she added.If you look at it from the perspective of other parents who are hosting children’s birthday parties, the expert noted that “often children are unable to invite the entire class to a party, so will choose to invite only one gender”.“This is a fairly ‘easy’ way to limit numbers, without causing great offence to those who are not invited,” she said. It’s also important to remember that children don’t have to invite everyone to their party – “and while we do well to encourage our children to be kind and charitable, if they genuinely don’t want a certain child at their party, they should be allowed to not invite them,” added the expert. Hayes said it can form a teachable moment. “Clearly explain to them that other children may not always invite both twins to their parties, and that’s OK,” she said.“Explain, as much as possible to a four year old, that we can choose not to get mad or sad, but to make the most of it. We’ll do some other fun thing, instead.”You could go to the park, or get an ice cream, or do something else that makes the other twin feel special. “And, I would go a step further to encourage them to wish the birthday boy a happy birthday – include her name on the birthday card, or give him a separate card from her,” said Hayes.“Focus on being kind, even if it feels like others are unkind to us (in this case, I would say unintentionally). Choose not to be mad or sad – but to focus on your blessings and create your own joy.”Related...When Is It Rude To Ban (Or Bring) Kids As Guests?I'm A Parenting Coach – If Kids Are Rude, Try This 2-Word ResponseTherapists Swear By This Parenting Trick For 'Rude' Or 'Angry' Kids

Comments

Breaking news

Metro

Tory MP reports deepfake claiming he joined Reform to police

about 2 hours ago

Independent

‘No Kings’ protests pass in festival atmosphere as an estimated 7 million across US rally against Trump’s ‘authoritarianism’

about 2 hours ago

Music could help ease pain from surgery or illness. Scientists are listening

Independent

Comments

Breaking news

Tory MP reports deepfake claiming he joined Reform to police

‘No Kings’ protests pass in festival atmosphere as an estimated 7 million across US rally against Trump’s ‘authoritarianism’

Music could help ease pain from surgery or illness. Scientists are listening

Morocco's Gen Z protesters demand accountability and education reform

US warns Hamas planning attack on Palestinian civilians in apparent violation of Gaza ceasefire

Ex-Proud Boys leader and Jan 6 convict Enrique Tarrio attends ‘No Kings’ rally in Miami

Two leading candidates to chair grooming gangs inquiry revealed

'I lay next to my murdered son on his hospital bed and made him a promise'

Prince William to freeze out Prince Andrew in more ruthless approach on royal life

Burglary suspect causes chaos in court after hurling poo at judge

Hamas hands over bodies of two more hostages, Israel confirms

Queen Camilla puts on united Royal front at Ascot after Prince Andrew loses titles

Ian Watkins sent secret fiancée sick love note days before he was killed in jail

King Charles secret project after teaming up with huge TV star revealed

Woman stole over £100k from friends then fled to US and posed as fake heiress

Prince William wants disgraced Andrew 'banned from coronation and all royal life'

Kanye West sells decaying $14 million Wyoming ranch back to its original owners

MAIL ON SUNDAY COMMENT: Nations smaller than ours stand up to China so surely we should too

I've been fat-shamed, says the 20st Santa axed after struggling to fit into his costume

Tens of thousands of homeowners could be hit by new council tax bands as Rachel Reeves sets her sights on higher-value homes

Trapped 200ft underwater with time running out: How a sub crew escaped death… only to meet a fate MUCH worse

Labour urged to come clean over secret summits with Chinese officials that show extent of links to Beijing

New spy fears over site of Chinese 'super-embassy' due to proximity to phone exchange that handles sensitive City data

'Catastrophic' attack as Russians hack files on EIGHT MoD bases and post them on the dark web

Revealed: NHS bosses wanted Darlington nurses to be schooled by the same trans woman they complained had allegedly commented on their breasts in the female changing room

MAIL ON SUNDAY COMMENT: The prince wriggled and squirmed... but a free and fearless Press would not let him off the hook

Revealed: Jeffrey Epstein introduced Prince Andrew to a second woman who the convicted paedophile had sexually abused and trafficked for years and tried to set them up for a dinner date

Epstein 'bankrolled Sarah Ferguson for 15 years' and she 'took daughters to celebrate his release from prison in US' astonishing emails claim

Loose Women star Kaye Adams taken off £155,000-a-year BBC radio show after staff claim they were bullied

Prince Andrew told Epstein it was 'possible' he was photographed with sex accuser Virginia Giuffre during 2011 MoS probe into the leaked picture but told BBC Newsnight it could have been 'doctored' just eight years later

Heard the one about how many fat-salaried NHS managers it takes to change a lightbulb? (The punchline's no joke... I should know, I'm a very angry A&E doctor)

Family of Lady Annabel Goldsmith, society matriarch who gave her name to London's swankiest nightclub, hail her 'extraordinary and complete' life... but say her death has left them 'bereft'

TALK OF THE TOWN: The Beckhams' 1,000 sq ft man-made beach may cross a line in the sand for local planners

Revealed: Lostprophets paedophile Ian Watkins' final act on night before he was butchered was to pen depraved love letter to 'secret fiance' where he vowed they wouldn't be 'apart forever'

Blair backs Kemi on migration by arguing small-boat arrivals should not be able to claim asylum

Verstappen takes US pole with Norris second

Different coach but same Rangers? - Smith questions mentality & habits

Israel receives two bodies that Hamas says are Gaza hostages

'I miss the past, but we like the money': The Bali-fication of a laidback surfers' island

US to repatriate survivors of strike on 'drug-carrying submarine', Trump says

What Will Winter Bring? NOAA Outlook May Offer Some Clues.

Thousands protest plans for mandatory digital ID cards in the UK

Heir to Mango fashion empire investigated over billionaire father’s cliff fall death

Best signs and costumes from the nationwide ‘No Kings’ protests condemning the Trump administration

Trump to repatriate two survivors of strike on alleged ‘drugs sub’ destroyed in Caribbean

Kristi Noem gets luxury $172M jets she had asked for prompting questions over where the funding is coming from

Prince Andrew ‘gagged’ Virginia Giuffre to stop her tarnishing the Queen’s platinum jubilee, memoir claims

Protesters march through streets against digital ID plans

Northern lights could be seen across Scotland tonight as red alert issued

Man who watched friends have bladders removed still couldn't stop taking ketamine

Rangers legend Paul Gascoigne 'came back from the dead with injection to his heart'

Horror as seven kids found in dire conditions in home 'saturated with faeces and urine'

Inside Prince Andrew's Royal Lodge where disgraced royal will continue to live

£378 emergency DWP payment for Universal Credit claimants

Prince Andrew told to drop titles in 10-minute call with 'weary' King Charles

Angelina Jolie is the epitome of chic in a classic black gown as she continues to promote her latest film Couture in Rome

Molly-Mae Hague reveals she took prescription medication for extreme anxiety after suffering panic attacks amid Tommy Fury relationship troubles

British men claim they have absolutely no say in home decor except for ONE room, study reveals

Hamas finally caves to Trump's demands for them to 'release the dead' by handing over the bodies of two further October 7 hostages who died in captivity

Donald Trump decides the fate of two survivors pulled from 'Venezuelan drug boat' after deadly strike