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Safeguarding Expert Shares 6 Subtle Signs Of Teens Being Bullied

Teens aren’t exactly known for being forthcoming with information and can be particularly hard to read, which can make it difficult for parents to spot when they’re being bullied.According to safeguarding specialist Steven Britton, many parents miss the signs of bullying in teens until things have already escalated.“Once kids become teenagers, there’s a natural shift. They want more privacy, they test boundaries, they become less open. That’s normal,” he said.“But that same shift makes it harder for parents to spot when something isn’t normal. If your child starts withdrawing or avoiding certain people or places, it’s worth asking why – because bullying often hides behind what looks like typical teen behaviour.”Here are some subtle signs that something might not be quite right. 1. They avoid specific people or placesIf your teen is suddenly refusing to go to school on certain days, dreading a particular class, or taking odd routes to and from school, it might be a red flag, said the expert.“Bullying tends to follow a pattern. Teens might avoid PE because that’s where the teasing happens, or they might ‘miss the bus’ on purpose to steer clear of someone. If they’re avoiding a specific scenario, there’s likely a reason,” said Britton, who runs Top Grade Tutoring.He advises parents to keep track of when and where avoidance happens. Are they sick every Monday or skipping lunch on certain days? Look for patterns.2. They’ve had a sudden shift in personality or routineTeens obviously change over time, but Britton warned that a “rapid, unexplained shift” might be a cause for concern. “If your teen used to be outgoing and is now isolating, if they loved school and now can’t stand it, or if they’re suddenly exhausted, anxious, or irritable most of the time, something could be going on beneath the surface,” he explained.Bullying can trigger behavioural changes, especially if the teen is trying to hide their distress.It might be helpful to compare how they act at home with how they behave around others or in public. “A confident, chatty teen who becomes withdrawn in certain settings might be reacting to something (or someone) specific,” he added. 3. They get emotional around their phone or social mediaNowadays, bullying isn’t just confined to the classroom.An Ofcom study found four in 10 children aged 8-17 (39%) have experienced bullying, either on or offline. Among these children, the bullying was more likely to happen on a device (84%) than face-to-face (61%).Harassment can occur online through messages, comments and shaming. If your teen seems tense after checking their phone, deletes posts suddenly, or won’t let you see their social feeds, Britton urges to “take note”.“Unlike general stress, bullying tends to produce emotional spikes: tears after a text, anger at a notification, or anxiety about going online,” he said.If you notice this change, the safeguarding pro advises asking neutral questions like: “How are things with your group chat?” or “Seen anything online lately that’s made you feel weird?” 4. Physical symptoms don’t match up with illnessTeens complaining of headaches, nausea or fatigue isn’t unusual. But Britton suggested if they only feel sick on school days or right before certain events, it could be anxiety. “Emotional distress from bullying often manifests physically, especially if they feel they can’t escape it,” he said. “And while teens can get real illnesses, bullying-related symptoms often have no clear medical cause and come with emotional cues like irritability or tearfulness.”The expert advises parents to keep a log of symptoms and when they appear to see if they line up with specific events.5. They’ve had a drop in academic performance or engagement“A sudden dip in grades, loss of focus, or apathy about things they once enjoyed could be a sign they’re emotionally overwhelmed,” said Britton.“Bullying affects self-esteem and motivation – it’s hard to care about French homework when you’re dreading lunchtime.”If this resonates, check in with teachers – not just about grades, but about classroom behaviour and peer interactions. “They often spot social issues before students ever bring them up at home,” added Britton.6. They’re pulling away from old friendshipsFriendship shifts are normal in adolescence, but Britton said total social withdrawal is not.“If your teen has dropped their usual mates, stopped texting or calling, and avoids talking about friends altogether, that’s a clue something isn’t right,” he said. Bullying can occasionally emerge from inside the friend group masked as banter and sarcasm – and teens might even dismiss it as that, even if it’s hurting them.Britton suggested parents ask indirect questions like, “Are you still chatting to [friend’s name]?” or “What do you like about your current group?” as their answers can reveal quite a lot.He added: “One of the hardest things for teens is identifying bullying when it’s disguised as friendship. They’ll say, ‘It’s just banter,’ or ‘We always mess around like that,’ but if someone is consistently being made the punchline, and it makes them feel small or anxious, that’s not friendship. That’s manipulation.“Parents need to tread carefully – not by calling it bullying right away, but by helping their child recognise when something doesn’t feel right. Reflecting back what they’ve said, without labelling it, can help them connect the dots themselves.”Related...Why Are UK Teens Among World’s Unhappiest? We Asked ThemThis Is What 'Catches Almost Every Parent Off Guard' When Kids Become Teens‘They’re Simply Wired Differently’: 10 Ways To Help Teens With ADHD Get Through Exams

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