This Childhood Experience Is More Harmful Than You Might Think

Michał Parzuchowski on Unsplash" />It’s long been agreed that smacking is abusive and harmful to a child’s development – and, in some countries, it’s illegal for parents to do it. Now, experts want to see action taken to tackle verbal abuse – a little-spoken-about issue that is now recognised as one of the most prevalent forms of child maltreatment.Today, Sharon Hodgson MP, the charity Words Matter and a group of experts are set to discuss the “critical need” for verbal abuse prevention in children.What is verbal abuse?Verbal abuse can include blaming, insulting, scolding, criticising or threatening children.There’s a common rhyme that many of us grew up with that “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”.Yet Professor Andrea Danese, an expert in child and adolescent psychiatry at King’s College London (KCL), said it’s “wrong”.“Words can harm a child’s wellbeing and development, and leave lifelong psychological scars,” he added.Children were previously asked which words uttered by adults were the most hurtful and upsetting. The top five were:‘You’re useless’‘You’re stupid’‘You can’t do anything right’‘You’re worthless’‘I’m ashamed of you’How verbal abuse harms childrenThe damage from verbal abuse can be “equally if not more harmful” to children than physical or sexual abuse, said Professor Eamon McCrory, an expert in developmental neuroscience at UCL.“Verbal abuse can profoundly shape an individual’s sense of self, their behaviour and relationships, increasing the risk of clinically significant levels of anxiety, dissociation, depression, substance abuse and self-harm,” he said.Brain imaging research has shown how abuse, including verbal abuse, has “significant biological impacts”, he added, including prompting changes in brain structure, altering brain connectivity, and changing how the brain processes everyday experiences.“Verbal abuse may be invisible to the naked eye – but its consequences are psychologically and biologically real,” he added. Verbal abuse “is one of the most preventable causes of mental health problems”, said Professor Peter Fonagy, head of the division of psychology and language sciences at UCL.“Harsh words can actively weaken the brain’s foundation during development,” he explained.Long-term effects can include anxiety, depression, eating disorders, sleep difficulties, substance misuse, self-harm and suicide.How prevalent is the issue?A survey by Words Matter previously found two in five children (41%) have experienced verbal abuse from the adults around them – mainly parents, carers, teachers, and activity leaders/coaches.Sharon Hodgson MP said while “important progress” has been made in tackling physical and sexual abuse through awareness and intervention, verbal abuse “has remained under the radar”.What can be done to tackle it?The charity Words Matter now hopes to see verbal abuse prevention become a core focus for the government – with training, awareness and support for all adults in children’s lives.Jessica Bondy, the charity’s founder, said: “Neuroscience shows clearly that verbal abuse profoundly harms children’s developing brains.“If the government truly wants the healthiest generation in history, tackling verbal abuse must become a core part of the national mental health strategy – urgently recognised, systematically monitored, and proactively prevented.”She added that “small shifts in language today can transform children’s lives and futures”.Professor Peter Fonagy concluded that children need “kind, supportive communication” from adults. “It’s vital for building their identity and emotional resilience,” he said.HuffPost UK has contacted the government for comment and will update the piece when we hear back. Related...The Hurtful Words Adults Use That Harm Children The Most

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