What Is Masculinity? Honestly, Most Boys Don't Know

Whenever you read about masculinity, there’s a high chance the word “toxic” will be thrown in there, too. And it’s impacting our youngest generation more than we might think. A new Boys In Schools report from Male Allies has explored how tween and teen boys feel about a range of topics – from their connections and time spent online, to politics, masculinity and feminism.The poll of just over 1,000 boys between the ages of 11 and 15 years old, carried out across 37 schools in England, Scotland and Wales, revealed the vast majority (79%) of boys say it isn’t clear to them what masculinity is.One boy suggested people always say what it shouldn’t be, but don’t say what it actually is. Another said: “It’s toxic, that’s all I ever hear.”What is masculinity?Masculinity is “a set of characteristics and behaviours associated with men, boys and male bodies, socially constructed and varying across time and place”, according to The United Nations Girls’ Education Initiative.Traditional ideas around masculinity focus on men being tough and dominant. Other attributes associated with it include power, aggression, competition and control, as well as this idea of men keeping a lid on their emotions. Some studies have linked traditional masculinity to negative outcomes – one review found adhering to traditional masculine norms (emotional stoicism, self-reliance, and toughness) “significantly impacts men’s mental health” and leads to a reluctance to seek help.Yet traditional masculinity can also describe more positive characteristics such as “reliability, stability, physical strength, independence and integrity”, wrote sociology lecturer Marina Yusupova for The Conversation.Though we hear a lot less about these.Masculinity is also constantly evolving and it means different things to different people. It doesn’t have to be a negative thing, or something boys should feel is “toxic” or to be ashamed of – otherwise we risk boys feeling disenfranchised about their role in society.Lee Chambers, founder and CEO of Male Allies UK, and author of the report, told HuffPost UK: “Masculinity to me, today, is so many things. It’s the courage to care, the discipline to do the work of self-exploration, to be a provider of much more than just finance to ourselves, our families and our communities.“It’s sharing our challenges and our victories. Taking accountability for how we show up, and being willing to listen and to learn. Using the tools we have, and building bridges, to embrace difference with curiosity rather than fear.“But most of all, masculinity is about turning up as the whole man you are, the light and the dark, and creating space for others to do the same. There are 4 billion ways to be a man. Masculinity is the journey to being that man, challenging inequity, sharing space and raising the standard.”Male Allies’ poll also found boys are split between not trusting anything that’s online because it’s “all fake”, to saying that certain sexist voices are part of the “new system” because what they say comes true. Most (82% of) boys don’t trust UK politicians either.Chambers said it’s clear from the stats that “a lack of guidance and trusted information means many are struggling to understand how to process the views they see every day, which is splitting opinion on some important subjects”.“We hear a lot in the media about male toxicity and poor role models for boys, but it’s up to us to change that,” he added. The poll also revealed boys’ thoughts on feminism and women’s rights are mixed. Despite the majority of boys (58%) thinking feminism has made the UK a better place, 54% believe boys have it harder than girls today.Some also mentioned they feel that girls are celebrated, but boys are often seen as part of the problem and that feminism tends to lead to boys being blamed.The majority of boys think women’s rights are important (45%) or very important (23%) in the world today. Although, worryingly, almost one-third (32%) say they’re not very important.It’s clear young people need more support, positive role models and education in this area – but also, perhaps more praise and a focus on the positive attributes that make them who they are.George Gabriel, co-founder of The Dad Shift, suggested “we’ve got a long way to go figuring out what it means to be a man in Britain today”.“We need a vision of masculinity strong enough not to be threatened by gender equality, as some influencers think we should be,” said Gabriel, alluding to certain misogynistic influencers gaining popularity among young boys. “We need a manhood open enough to help men change in changing times, all while being true to who we are.”Related...Revealed: This Age Group Of Boys Is Most Vulnerable To Online AbuseI Asked Teen Boys Why They Use AI Chatbots. 1 Common Response Alarmed MeThird Of Boys Say Girls In Revealing Clothes Are ’Asking For Trouble’ – Who Is To Blame?

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