What Is Pacing? The Kate Middleton-Approved Parenting Trick For Young Kids

The videos have the backing of Kate, Princess of Wales.I’m extremely guilty of rushing around like a headless chicken for at least 80% of the time – and especially in the mornings, when I need to get two kids out of the door by 7.30am.But this routine I’ve settled into clearly isn’t working – inevitably someone (or all of us) gets upset just as we’re about to leave the house. My frustrated cries to go quicker are met with further resistance.In a video shared by the The Royal Foundation Centre for Early Childhood, experts suggested a technique called “pacing” – which, ultimately, is about slowing down – could benefit babies, young children and their parents.It has the Royal seal of approval, too.The Princess of Wales has been closely involved in the development of the films and said they “showcase how adults can create nurturing, loving interactions with children, helping to foster social and emotional development during their earliest years”.So, what is pacing?The video’s narrator explained that adults “can get used to doing everything fast” but “babies and young children learn best when things slow down” because everything they’re experiencing is still new to them, and the tools they need to process information are still being developed.But the difference in speed – between what adults expect, and children can actually manage – can create “moments of frustration”.As the narrator explained, “we might expect children to do things at our pace, and they simply can’t”.“When they don’t immediately respond to something we’ve asked, our natural inclination is to go faster. We repeat what we’ve asked even quicker than before. We become more stressed. We raise our voice,” according to the video.“And, as a result, the child has even less time to compute all this new information and becomes pretty much overwhelmed. This might look like a child freezing, crying, or appearing to ignore you – or a combination of all three.”But the recommendation is that by slowing down, the opposite happens. And it makes a lot of sense. With my morning routines, for instance, I find the best mornings are the ones when my child wakes up a bit earlier than usual and has more time and space to get ready at her own pace.It means I’m not trying to rush her in the last 15 minutes before we need to leave the house – and ultimately, those mornings are very calm. So, I’ve started attempting earlier wake-ups. She’s not always thrilled about it, but on the whole, it does make for a much easier transition leaving the house.On the mornings we’re able to take a bit more time, and have fun in the process – because there’s an extra few minutes for reading or chasing each other around the kitchen – the outcome is a lot more positive.The video also suggests that by asking a question, and then pausing to wait for a child to respond – instead of diving right in there by repeating ourselves, or following up with another instruction – “we’re allowing them to process things at their own pace”.This could be something as simple as: which shoes do you want to wear today? And pause.Pacing can also be used throughout the day: when reading books, or out at the park, or playing with blocks. You can linger on a page to see what your child is interested in, or ask them a question about their doll and wait for a response. It’s about creating space for “positive interactions and moments of connection”, giving them the chance to lead and show us what matters to them. Of course, there will be plenty of times that we simply can’t go slow (and experts say it won’t hurt). But on the whole, aiming for a slower approach – and building in time for connection, even if it’s for five minutes before work – surely can’t hurt. Related...WTF Is 'Slow Parenting'? The Internet's Answer To Overscheduled KidsI'm A Parenting Coach – If You Have A 'Hard' Kid, I Want You To Know 3 ThingsI'm A Parenting Coach – If Your Teen Argues All The Time, Try This 1 Response

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Britain's Royal Mail celebrates Monty Python with stamps featuring iconic sketches and characters