Being a military spouse makes me a solo parent much of the time. The day care teachers have become my village.

Lauren Gumpert found a new family and support system among her kids' day care teachers.Courtesy of Lauren GumpertAs a military spouse, I felt isolated, trying to parent on my own much of the time.I felt guilty considering daycare, but ultimately found a supportive community in the teachers there.Accepting help was one of the best parenting decisions I've made thus far.By the time I gave birth to my first child, I'd heard the phrase "It takes a village to raise a child" copious times. Unfortunately, though, it wasn't my reality.What I found, on social media and from the general culture of military spouses around me, was the idea of a nuclear family — an independent family unit that didn't rely on outside help.I also absorbed the message that moms should do everything and be everything for their kids, regardless of their own health and well-being.This individualistic mindset made seeking support feel complicated.Like some other military families, my husband and I live in an area without immediate family nearby, which wasn't an issue until we had kids.We were blindsided by the amount of work that caregiving required. And with my husband traveling half the time, much of that workload fell onto my shoulders.I struggled to establish routines with my daughter, and our days felt long and monotonous. Between the sleep regressions, sicknesses, and nap refusals, caregiving breaks were few and far between.I finally admitted that I needed helpLauren Gumpert's daughter points to the letter "Y" on an alphabet on the wall.Courtesy of Lauren GumpertAfter six months of maternity leave (with my spouse gone for most of it), I knew that I needed some help.Even so, I agonized over whether to send my child to day care. Doing so felt like I was giving up control and somehow failing as a parent by asking for help.Since my income would barely cover the cost, staying home would have made sense. However, with my partner gone so much, I longed for a reliable network of care to help lighten my load.We found a day care center in a neighborhood close to our house. When I dropped my daughter off on her first day with tears in my eyes, I'll never forget what the receptionist at the front desk said: "Don't worry, we're like family here. We're here to help you."Her words felt comforting, but I didn't quite believe them at the time. Now, over two years later, with both of my kids in day care, the ladies at the center do feel like family.I see them more often than I see my own family and friends, and they're among the first to know about our most personal news, like the time both kids and I came down with Norovirus while my husband was out of town.The teachers have supported our family in many waysAfter struggling for months to get my eldest daughter to settle on a nap routine, I was relieved when the day care teachers achieved that feat.They also exposed her to new foods, songs, and friends. She still comes home excited to share what she's learned, using her own makeshift pointer at home to instruct us on letters, colors, and shapes.With my second baby, the day care teachers noticed that she was a bit behind her peers in her gross motor skills. Now, they've memorized her physical therapy schedule and do the prescribed exercises with her during the day, always asking about her appointments and observing her progress.Their kindness and compassion extend toward me, too.These women never fail to ask about my night and offer words of encouragement when they notice the bags under my eyes at dropoff. They were among the first to acknowledge my emerging bump and congratulate me when we discovered that we would be adding a third baby to the family.As I've gotten to know these women, they feel more and more like familyGetting to know these women has been a privilege.I know that the front desk receptionist just welcomed a grandson who is currently staying in the NICU because he was born at 29 weeks.I know that one of my toddler's teachers works a second job at Ross and is trying to finish her psychology degree.I know that two other teachers just rented their first townhouse together, and they attended my 2-year-old's birthday party with gifts in hand.Enrolling our kids in day care was one of the best parenting decisions that we've made so far.Not only does it provide a steady routine and predictability in contrast to my husband's unpredictable schedule, but it also surrounds my children with loving and trustworthy adults, making motherhood feel much less lonely.In order to accept the help, though, I had to relinquish some control. I had to be OK with not knowing what my daughters ate for a snack that day, or whether their clothes would come home stained with paint and chalk.It's a tradeoff that I'd make over and over again, because I love being part of this village. I'm a much better mom because of it.Read the original article on Business Insider

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