I had my daughter at 44. I'm sometimes mistaken for her grandmother, but it was the right time for me.

Photo Credit: Billy TerrellI became a mom at 44, and it was the right time for me.However, I know I'll likely have less time with her than younger parents have with their kids.I'm making the most of the time we have together.As an older mom, I'm cognizant of the possibility of dying before my daughter is grown.For me, this is the most difficult thing about being an older parent. I want as much time with her as possible. I don't want to leave her motherless too soon, both for her own sake and, selfishly, for mine.I'm often the oldest mom in the groupThe uterus is less like a cabernet sauvignon that improves the longer it ages, and more like a Beaujolais that is best shortly after it ripens. My uterus was carefully monitored throughout my geriatric pregnancy. Preeclampsia. Emergency c-section. Baby.Since giving birth, my hair has turned a dignified gray. I have new wrinkles. I've gained weight thanks to medication, perimenopause, and regular sedentary WFH days. When my daughter finishes high school, I'll be rounding the bend toward retirement. If she goes to college, I'll be nearly 70 at graduation.It's no wonder that folks on the bus, at stores, on the playground, or at the library mistake me for my daughter's grandma. Even though I understand why, it causes a pang every time. Aging visibly in a culture that glorifies young, glowing moms full of vivacious energy feels fraught on many levels.There are benefits to my ageI answer my daughter's many questions and follow her down rabbit holes full of follow-up questions until we either satisfy her curiosity on a topic or determine that we need to, as Elmo says, "LOOK! IT! UP!" Years in therapy have given me the perspective to be a more patient person, which makes me a better mom than I would otherwise have been.After decades of building a career, I have the credibility to request flexibility to tend to my family's needs — not something I would have had in my 30s while juggling part-time jobs and grad school, nor in my 20s when I was constantly broke.I'm in perimenopause while my daughter is in preschool, but reliving the wonders of discovery through the lens of childhood distracts me from some of its more difficult aspects. Whether examining lizards sunning on rocks, listening to birdsong, or peering into the night sky at planets, rekindling my own curiosity as a byproduct of my daughter's is one of many rewards of parenting. Night sweats pale in comparison to the joy of exploration.Oh, and the dance parties. I'm old enough to dance like no one's watching. So many dance parties!I'm teaching my daughter about living in the presentI hope to grow old without burdening my daughter with my care or worrying that I won't be with her for as long as she'd like. But chasing the illusion of eternal youth entails waging a losing battle against time.As an older parent, I try to teach my daughter that living well means cultivating kindness, relishing the present moment no matter what came before or what we expect of the future, and keeping our eyes up to carry the world with us. These are lessons I'm learning too, but none were my top priorities when I was a younger, child-free person. I can't help but think that my daughter is getting the best of me as an older mom.Read the original article on Business Insider

Comments

Business News

Champion skier Mikaela Shiffrin joins NWSL Denver's ownership group

ABC News

Comments

Business News

Champion skier Mikaela Shiffrin joins NWSL Denver's ownership group

What customers can expect as Rite Aid closes or sells all its drugstores

Pubs giant lodges plan to convert city centre landmark into 195-room hotel

FTSE edges higher amid UK-India trade deal to continue winning streak

UK-India trade deal: Key points from whisky and gin to cars and textiles

Burger King ordered to face lawsuit alleging Whoppers are way smaller than advertised

EV maker recalls more than 27K vehicles over risk malfunction in key component

UK’s ‘smallest home’ so tiny locals call it ‘Dolls House’ is sold for £235k – would YOU give up space for seaside views?

Famous chef SLASHES prices to let more punters try Michelin-star food on a budget

Lidl is selling a £25 fuss-free tool to help protect your lawnmower this summer – & it’s £135 cheaper than Bosch version

United Airlines cuts 35 daily flights at Newark airport, citing shortage of air traffic controllers

Canadian Prime Minister Carney will meet with Trump, hoping to ease trade war tensions

What to know about flight delays and cancellations at Newark airport

UK and India sign a 'landmark' trade agreement after years of tough negotiations

Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg and Larry Fink slated for Saudi conference next week: ‘MAGA in the Desert’

Credit Suisse to pay $511M for helping Americans evade $4B in taxes

Murder of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson has elite executives ramping up security

Full list of Natwest branches closing next month as bank slashes 53 locations – is your local being cut?

Amazon launches new shopping service to rival Temu and Shein

Trump Tariff Turmoil Hits Hollywood: Wrong Solution, But Real Problem

What Happened To Kelsey Grammer’s Sister Karen? A Look Back At The 1975 Murder

Prince’s ‘Purple Rain’ Returns To No. 1 Decades After It First Took Over The World

‘A Minecraft Movie’ Gets Digital Streaming Release Date, Report Says

Thai Billionaire To File Appeal Against Court Ruling In Golf Resort Land Grabbing Case

Sting’s New Album Has Taken Several Forms, And It’s Finally A Chart Hit

Hit Bilingual Comedy ‘Acapulco’ Gets Debut Date For Final Season

Fudge And Munro Win Double Golds At 2025 US Pickleball Open

Ghost Hits No. 1 For The First Time As The Band’s New Album Dominates

Rachel Zegler’s ‘Snow White’ Gets Digital Streaming Release Date

Homestead-Miami Speedway Returns As Nascar’s Championship Race In 2026

Why Change Management Fails: It’s About People, Not Process

Jeff Goldblum Charts A Surprisingly Popular New Album

From Panic To Power: What Leaders Must Learn In The AI Age

Constitutional Rights Of Undocumented Immigrants: Do They Have Any?

FDA Job Cuts Spark Food Safety Debate

‘The Four Seasons’ Dethroned In Netflix’s Top 10 List By A New Show

Doja Cat’s New Single May Put Her On The Road To An Oscar Nomination

Michelle Wie West: The Mizuho Americas Open And Investing In TOGETHXR

Fed Meeting Starts Today—Here’s Why You Shouldn’t Expect Interest Rate Cuts Despite Trump’s Demands

The Road To ‘The Grotto’: Joanna Gleason Reflects On Writing And Directing Her First Feature Film

Eminem’s Albums Are All On The Rise

Alpine F1 Set To Replace Jack Doohan With Franco Colapinto At Imola

Study: Extended Interconnection Queue Times Plague Wind, Solar

Lana Del Rey’s Debut Album Reaches An Incredible Milestone

Buyout firm CVC weighs &#163;6bn bid for duty-free giant Avolta

UK and India strike landmark trade deal

Debenhams axes £700 five piece rattan furniture set by £325 ready for outdoor hosting

Primark's 'flattering' new teal sports jacket 'looks like lululemon'

Uniqlo's £35 summer dress has 'game-changing' built-in feature shoppers love

FTSE 250 fintech rejects takeover offer from US payments giant Corpay

HMRC warning over ISA deposits as 'tax is payable' if you make this mistake

The Crusader – Relieved driver gets green light to end £27,000 loan

Housebuilder acquires land for 99 new homes overlooking city park

Firm appointed for trio of landmark Scottish bridge projects

Bank to delay rates announcement due to VE Day two-minute silence

Crypto traders who bought Melania Trump coin minutes before launch bagged $100M: report

Amazon to roll out low-cost Haul service in the UK

PricewaterhouseCoopers laying off around 1,500 employees — 3% of US workforce amid industrywide slowdown

Argos shoppers have just hours left to bag FREE Fitbit today – how to claim yours

Big high street retail chain to close ANOTHER shop after already shutting 35 sites following rescue deal

Buyout firm CVC weighs £6bn bid for duty-free giant Avolta