Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the biggest patriot of them all? It is I, Robert Jenrick | Marina Hyde

When I gaze deep into my own eyes, what do I see? An iron-willed, crime-crushing flag-raiser whose ascent to the Tory leadership is surely inevitableI wake up early – earlier than Nigel Farage. Not drinking as much as him helps. But look, no shade. As I keep telling interviewers, I admire Nigel’s longevity. He can keep going for ever, can’t he, aged whatever-he-is and with that lifestyle, which makes his biological age only a couple of months more than Joe Biden’s was last summer. I’m a huge fan.Then it’s a pacy run round the constituency, or one of the nicer bits of London or Herefordshire if I’m at one of my other houses. If I spot a lamp-post that hasn’t been flagged, I make a mental note to go mental at the team. By next week I want to be photographed St Georgeing anything over 10 foot: wind turbines, 5G masts, the giraffes at London zoo. Then we stick it on the socials. Run me up the flagpole and see who salutes me.Marina Hyde is a Guardian columnist Continue reading...

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