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QUENTIN LETTS: When Rachel Reeves glanced at little Torsten's telephone her eyes popped out on bedsprings, dangling like a couple of toffee apples. Seldom has a chancellor looked so rocked at the start of a Budget…

After earlier leaks, now the whole Hoover dam collapsed. Total Seepage Situation.

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The Donald was given a free pass by Labour MPs over Ukraine peace agreement. Why are they so wet? QUENTIN LETTS watches PMQs...

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QUENTIN LETTS: When Sir Keir enters a room a bank of windless mist descends - motion ceases and verve shrivels

QUENTIN LETTS: The minister was like my wife when she has a clear-out... then goes to buy new knick-knacks

As Sir Keir told the Commons Labour are a 'united team', backbenchers stared, arms crossed, wondering: Can't we send him back and ask Ikea for a refund? writes QUENTIN LETTS

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Rachel Reeves was a wan prophet of perdition, honking like a faulty cyborg: QUENTIN LETTS

QUENTIN LETTS: Reeves was a wan prophet of perdition honking like a malfunctioning cyborg

QUENTIN LETTS: MPs used to treat Whitehall's panjandrums with awe. Now they snort at them with open ridicule

As their PM was cheered, his Grudge Sisters sat in stony silence: QUENTIN LETTS

Opinions

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