Football Daily | Chaos, ‘calma’ and screaming Michelle Agyemang’s name

Sign up now! Sign up now! Sign up now? Sign up now!English commentators have, historically, been a reserved bunch. The finest from these shores – from Kenneth Wolstenholme to Barry Davies, Brian Moore to Martin Tyler – all typically showed a rather comforting self-supervision to the game as increasingly excitable co-commentators swirled around them, an internal belt that stopped the trousers from falling down even in the most dramatic of moments. Perhaps even especially in the most dramatic of moments. “You have to say that’s magnificent,” is probably not what the Argentinian commentators were bellowing when Diego Maradona rounded Peter Shilton in 1986 after his solo run, but Davies’ commentary was still inimitably perfect.Thank you for the Kasi Flava link (yesterday’s Football Daily). It brings back memories of a Sunday pub team I played for. Our skill set was not at that level, but our ability to go to sleep standing up and fall over unimpeded was sans pareil” – Steve Robjant.The sides for our weekend pick-up games at university in Dundee in the mid-60s often aligned deliberately along north-south lines (Football Daily letters passim). Given the number of Scots available there was a bias in the north team. Being Cumbrian-born and raised I usually squeezed into the northern line-up. Then for one game, Mel, from Blackburn, found himself playing for the south. He was not pleased” – Maurice Mandale.All the ‘where does the north begin?’ correspondents are showing the same fundamental misunderstanding of the concept. ‘North’ is not an absolute expression. Like Einstein’s theoretical astronaut, vainly trying to accelerate to the speed of light, we experience northness as a relativistic term. In global terms, the whole UK is north. More locally, we jumble phrases like South Kensington, which I believe lies in north London. Why, there’s even a North Parade in Penzance and a South Road where the A99 thunders through Wick, some 800 miles further, er, up the page. Northness is a state of mind we take with us, or avoid at all costs, influenced but not defined by our immediate environment. But unlike Alfred’s relativistic traveller, this discussion has been a journey from which we’ve all returned many, many, years older and no further forward” – Ken Muir.£300,000 might seem a lot to pay for the shirt of a losing goalkeeper (Peter Shilton: yesterday’s Football Daily, full email edition) but if you think of it in terms of pounds per kilo, it’s probably a good deal. I’m assuming the shirt was made from 100kg of some kind of rare, dense metal: how else can you explain Peter Shilton, 6ft professional keeper, being unable to outjump the 5ft 5in Diego Maradona?” – Derek McGee [or those penalties in 1990 – Football Daily Ed].This is an extract from our daily football email … Football Daily. To get the full version, just visit this page and follow the instructions. Continue reading...

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