Help me, I have been Candy Crushed | Dominik Diamond

I used to mock my wife for spending hours playing the candy-sorting mobile games, now I’m up to my neck in fizzy bottles of shame. It’s like Waiting for Godot with gummy bears instead of trampsAs long as I can remember, my wife has started each day with 30 minutes of a Candy Crush game. As long as she can remember, I have started each day by telling her it is pointless casual gamer cack. Now I write for the Guardian, I need to find a more eloquent way of putting that, so I thought I would have a go myself. I am begging you: do not do the same. Candy Crush Soda Saga nearly ruined me in a week.I like the game mechanics. As Oscar Wilde said, the man who doesn’t love sliding stuff to form chains of three or more matching shapes does not love life itself. This one is wrapped in a cute candy veneer, all fizzy bottles and gummy bears. And that makes the visuals so alluring. When you slide a Colour Bomb into a Candy Fish all the candies that colour get Candyfished and your eyes are treated to a bazillion of them fizzing around the screen destroying everything, while the firm yet gentle haptic feedback makes it a multisensory burst of pure, effervescent joy. Continue reading...

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