WTF Does 'Stay As Long As You Like' Actually Mean?

Person visiting friendYou know what sends chills down my spine? The phrase “stay as long as you like” – I get the feeling the person saying it does not actually mean I can live rent-free for the next decade at their home, but I wonder if a one-night stay under those terms would seem offensively short.(See also: “let me know if there’s anything I can do to help”. Anything? Really?)According to a Reddit thread shared by u/ProofDazzling9234 on r/AskUK, it seems I’m not alone. “I have British friends in the UK who invited me to stay with them when I visit the UK. They said I can stay with them as long as I want but I don’t want to overstay my welcome,” the Singaporean poster asked.“Do they really mean that?” We asked the founder of Etiquette Expert, Jo Hayes, for her thoughts.The term means different things in different culturesSpeaking to HuffPost UK, Hayes said that the phrase means so many different things across cultures and individuals that when someone extends such a “generous and hospitable” invitation, you should take it as “genuine”. However, she says, there’s a caveat: this should only be assumed “as long as your presence doesn’t start smelling like a dead fish”. In other words, it’s not so much about decoding what your host might theoretically mean with their kind offer as it is recognising when you’re overstaying your welcome. “Having house guests can be great or terrible, depending on the host and the guest. We all have different levels of introversion/extroversion, different capacities for small talk, [and] different needs for alone time,” she told us.“If the host and guest are drastically mismatched on any of the above, the house stay situation could get very old, very quickly.” Well-matched guests and hosts may never notice this issue, Hayes continued. But if you notice tension in the household, communicate clearly with your hosts.“Be aware of signs of weariness/exhaustion/‘I’m over this’ in the host,and if that happens, firstly communicate (‘I insist you tell me if you need me to move on, zero offence!’), and/or, if it’s clearly not working, simply make a decision to wrap it up,” she recommended.“Keep things light and polite – [say] ‘Thank you so much for having me,’ [and give them] a kind gift to thank them for their hospitality, etc.” How can I be a great house guest? Though you can never tell in advance exactly how you and your host will get along, the etiquette pro has some rules for those seeking to maximise their odds of remaining in their friend’s good books. “Guests, don’t loaf about,” she commented.“Contribute to the household, help wherever you can, make it so the hosts are glad you’re there. Be quick to help with cooking, dishes, taking trash out, and unloading the dishwasher. Keep the place clean. Offer to vacuum, etc.” For hosts, she ended, “give your guests breathing room. Don’t hover, encroach on their need for personal/ alone time.“Kind, calm, clear communication is the MO for making the deal sweet for all concerned.” Related...When Is It Rude To Ban (Or Bring) Kids As Guests?The Rudest, Grossest Things Customers Do, According To Beauty Store StaffEtiquette Expert Shares The 'Rudest' Way To Wear Sunglasses

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