I'm stuck between expensive teens and aging parents. I won't have a carefree time in my life.

Adene Sanchez/Getty ImagesWhen my kids were babies, I looked forward to a time when they wouldn't need me as much.Now that they are all self-sufficient, it's my parents who need my help.It means my husband and I won't get a carefree life.When my children were small and my life was a sleep-deprived struggle to navigate the chaos and tantrums of daily life, all I could dream of was the day when I could leave the baby years behind and finally get my life back.Now my children are almost fully fledged adults. They drive, they make their own breakfast, they have their own plans and lives. But the freedom I envisaged for so long has turned out to be elusive, as, just at the time my teens may need me less, it is my parents who need me more.I'm part of the sandwich generationMy parents are both now well into their 80s. There is an increasing number of doctor's appointments to worry about, mysterious chest pains or dizzy spells to lose sleep over, and the less tangible sadness of seeing them every time a little bit frailer, a fraction less in charge.And while my teens may physically need me less, their financial needs have grown exponentially. Now there is college to be paid for, gas to fill up their cars, contributions toward rent and phone bills, vacations I want them to go on with their friends, and concerts I want them to experience.As we are living longer than ever, and having children later, more and more of us find ourselves part of the sandwich generation, worrying simultaneously about ageing parents while supporting our not-quite-grown-up children.For my husband and me, it means we won't be getting a glimpse of a carefree life anytime soon. It used to be a baby's cry that would have us stumbling out of bed in the small hours, grumbling and half-crazed with lack of sleep. Now it is the fear of the dreaded 3 a.m. phone call that keeps us awake, that could equally come from an older parent relaying a panicked visit to the ER or a desperate teenager, stranded at the side of the road with a flat tyre.I'm not getting any youngerAt the same time, additional grit in the sandwich filling is the fact that my husband and I, too, are not getting any younger.When we had babies, we were young, fit, and full of energy. Our young bodies and minds could cope with sleepless nights and late-night dashes to the ER. We had no competing claims on being needed. Now our middle-aged bodies and minds are tug-of-war in two directions. My husband is now completely grey; he ignores his rising blood pressure, I ignore an aching hip, disobedient hormones, and brain fog. Always being 'on call' takes its toll. We can never truly switch off.We can't throw caution to the wind, turn off our phones, or go off-grid for a day; there may be an old or a young person who needs us.I carry a lot of guiltThere is also the guilt. Mother's guilt and daughter's guilt. However much I do for my children, could I do more? Am I a good enough mom, am I too much a friend, not enough a parent, should I have cried in front of the kids, should their dad and I have argued in front of them? What about the time I got blackout drunk at a party and they saw me puke in the driveway?An endless list of self-flagellation that every parent will recognise. At the same time, the daughter's guilt. Am I visiting my parents enough? Am I calling enough? Should I be running daily casseroles over to them? Should I be insisting they wear a personal alarm that directly alerts the emergency services? And if I'm honest, I feel guilt at the anger I feel when I see them getting older and weaker. Anger at them for allowing themselves to age, allowing themselves to one day be taken from us.And yet, and yet. Like all things, there is also a bittersweet joy nestled in the discomfort. There is nothing like the feeling of having our three generations all together in that moment. The three boys, son, dad, and grandad watching a cricket match. The women, my daughter, I, and my mom watching a movie and crying at the same part.In these moments, there is such utter joy and love. In these moments, the sandwich has never tasted so sweet .Read the original article on Business Insider

Comments

Business News

Designer apologizes for Adidas sandal design

ABC News

Cristiano Ronaldo Proposed With 50-Carat Diamond Worth An Estimated $3 Million: Here’s How It Compares With Other Famous Wedding Rings

about 1 hour ago

FTSE 100 boosted by US-China trade extension

Evening Standard

I built a media business after starring on '16 & Pregnant.' But I'm still afraid that I could lose my financial success in an instant.

about 3 hours ago

insider

Investigation finds $13 million US military Reaper drone crashed into the sea after an unexplained failure saw its propeller fall off

about 3 hours ago

Tesla is willing to pay up to $33.66 an hour for robotaxi test operators in NYC. Here's what the job entails.

insider

Comments

Similar News

I built a media business after starring on '16 & Pregnant.' But I'm still afraid that I could lose my financial success in an instant.

M&S’s £10 perfumes are back with two new scents being called ‘summer in a bottle’

I'm a former park ranger. I always saw visitors make these 5 mistakes at state and national parks.

I'm a mom and food writer. Here are 12 things that make my Costco executive membership worth it.

I'm shocked by the sneaky trick the banks are pulling... you must act NOW to rescue your hard-earned cash, says SYLVIA MORRIS. If you have one of these accounts, move fast

M&S Bank's digital push punishes elderly, say campaigners

Seoul-based Datumo raises $15.5M to take on Scale AI, backed by Salesforce

M&S brings back popular service four months after cyber attack

I'm a millionaire dad who started investing for my 3 kids when they were born. Here's my advice for other parents.

M&S click and collect returns 15 weeks after cyber attack

'Delicious' M&S afternoon tea shoppers can have delivered for £5 with deal stack

I became a first-time mom at 46. Being an older parent is a gift because I'm the best version of myself.

'I’m a single mum with 7 kids - £5 B&M buy helps my ‘no spend’ summer holidays'

'I'm a coffee snob, I tried the new L'OR machine that makes iced or hot drinks from 40p'

Number of people paying dividend tax DOUBLES in two years to hit record 3.7m

Four ways to sidestep tax on savings that'll hit a record 2.6m

M&S click and collect finally returns months after cyberattack

'I'm trying to eat more healthily and one product is making life so much easier'

I'm a personal stylist for wealthy men in tech. Here's how I help them elevate their uniform.

I'm experimenting with AI in my 70s. I've had to adapt to new technologies my entire career &mdash; those who embrace change survive.

Business News

Designer apologizes for Adidas sandal design

Overseas travel to US continues to tumble as Trump imposes travel bans, tariffs

Trump blasts Goldman Sachs CEO David Solomon over bank’s tariffs warning: ‘Focus on being a DJ’

Only 12% of people find Sydney Sweeney’s American Eagle ‘great jeans’ ad offensive: poll

IBM, Google claim quantum computers are almost here after major breakthroughs: ‘It doesn’t feel like a dream anymore’

Restaurants from IHOP to Chipotle sound alarm over tariffs spooking customers into staying home

AI Firm Perplexity Makes $34.5 Billion Bid For Google’s Chrome Browser

Can We Talk? Joan Rivers Honored With ‘Joke File’ Exhibit At The National Comedy Center

How Fantasy Football Can Provide Real Workplace Benefits

More Evidence Your Doctor’s Working Harder Than Ever

Cristiano Ronaldo Proposed With 50-Carat Diamond Worth An Estimated $3 Million: Here’s How It Compares With Other Famous Wedding Rings

FTSE 100 boosted by US-China trade extension

Spirit Airlines sounds the alarm on its future ability to stay in business

Vernon food plant pleads guilty after nitrogen leak kills two workers

Perplexity AI makes wild $34.5B all-cash offer for Google Chrome browser

Will The Supreme Court Overturn Same-Sex Marriage? Maybe—But It Hasn’t Done Anything Yet.

Northern Lights Forecast: 10 States Might See Aurora Borealis Tonight

Jimmy Kimmel Says Trump Presidency Drove Him To Italian Citizenship

Oasis Sends Several Albums Back To The Charts As The Band’s Reunion Tour Continues

James Gunn’s ‘Superman’ New On Streaming This Week, Director Says

Olivia Rodrigo Makes It To A Special Milestone — Again

Democrats Condemn Trump’s D.C. Takeover Plans As Federal Agents Begin Patrolling Capital

Reneé Rapp’s Superstar Moment Has Arrived

CPI, Jobs Report Leave Fed Little Choice But To Cut Rates

‘KPop Demon Hunters’ Sing-Along Version Coming To Theaters

Lenyn Sosa Quietly Leads A Step Forward For White Sox Hitters

Taylor Swift Shares A Major Hint About Her New Album

Hulu’s Best New Show Has A Near-Perfect Rotten Tomatoes Score

Danielle Spencer, Child Star Of ‘What’s Happening!!’, Dies At 60

What Time Does ‘The Summer I Turned Pretty’ Season 3, Episode 6 Come Out?

Trump Might Greenlight ‘Major Lawsuit’ Against Fed Chair Jerome Powell

Metallica And Queen Manage The Same Feat

Lady Gaga’s New Album Dances Back To The Charts

Real Madrid 2025/26 Season Preview: Team News, Key Dates, Predictions

River Island's £35 'Taylor Swift' dress that was £85 matches new 'Showgirl' era

Stay cool in heatwave with £28 smart fan which Wowcher just made cheaper

Thousands of motorists waste time of emergency service operators every year dialling 999 accidentally

I built a media business after starring on '16 & Pregnant.' But I'm still afraid that I could lose my financial success in an instant.

Explore Business Insider's front-row coverage on the biggest nights in music, Hollywood, and fashion

Elon Musk and Sam Altman's feud is really heating up

A complete timeline of Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce's relationship

'Inference whales' are breaching AI coding startup business models

Microsoft is trying to poach Meta AI talent and offering multimillion-dollar pay packages, internal documents show

I'm stuck between expensive teens and aging parents. I won't have a carefree time in my life.

Taylor Swift pulled out pricey accessories to announce her next era, including an $11,400 necklace

In 1954, an Alabama woman became the first known person to be directly hit by a meteorite &mdash; here's her strange story

I've been to over 90 countries, but there's only one I want to return to again and again

Investigation finds $13 million US military Reaper drone crashed into the sea after an unexplained failure saw its propeller fall off

Tesla is willing to pay up to $33.66 an hour for robotaxi test operators in NYC. Here's what the job entails.

Netflix is taking its fight with Disney to a new arena: sing-alongs

JD Vance says he used Grok to help make a customized children's book

Kodak cautions there's 'substantial doubt' about its ability to stay in business

French President Emmanuel Macron, his wife hired private eye to dig into Candace Owens: report

Kodak warns it may not stay afloat much longer as photography giant’s shares plunge 25%

Spirit Airlines could soon go out of business — months after declaring bankruptcy

Disgraced crypto exec Do Kwon to plead guilty to fraud charges in $40B collapse

Demi Lovato Misses The Mark With Her Comeback Single

I'm experimenting with AI in my 70s. I've had to adapt to new technologies my entire career — those who embrace change survive.

In 1954, an Alabama woman became the first known person to be directly hit by a meteorite — here's her strange story