I struggle with letting go of things. How can I move on for a calmer life? | Leading questions

Well-meaning people might say you need closure, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. But this isn’t always necessary – or possible – for moving onRead more Leading questionsI struggle with letting go of things. Distressing situations, that occurred 40 years ago and more, still regularly pop into my mind and stress me out. I don’t seem to be able to move past them and forget them. Even small irrelevant things annoy me and get me worked up. How can I either forget them or stop them raising my blood pressure? I seem to continually be stressing about insignificant things that I can’t change anyway. Can you suggest some techniques to move on and lead a calmer life?Eleanor says: Since you said a lot of these are small or insignificant upon reflection, I’ll assume we’re not talking about big traumas, or the kinds of insults a person shouldn’t aspire to forget. I assume they’re the kinds of sour memories we all have: bad luck, bad slights. Being yanked backwards through time to those hurtful memories can be so unpleasant. Not just for us, but for the people around us; it can keep us psychically stuck in old distress, each new event seen as a trace outline of the past. Continue reading...

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