My wife caught me wearing her underwear – and the shame is eating me up

I’ve tried talking to her about it, but she just says she can’t bear to think of me like that and refuses to discuss it. What should I do?I’m in my early 60s and have been happily married for more than 25 years. I’ve come to accept that I’m bisexual but haven’t told anyone. About two years ago my wife found me wearing a pair of her black lace panties, something I do sometimes as it turns me on. She was angry and suggested I needed therapy to “understand why you do that”. The comment was humiliating and made me feel ashamed. I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried talking to her about it, but she just says she can’t bear to think of me like that and refuses to discuss it. It’s eating me up.Enjoying wearing women’s underwear does not make you bisexual, but perhaps you also have erotic feelings towards both men and women? Either way, it might be helpful for you to discuss your sexual self with a sexuality therapist because you do not deserve to feel ashamed and humiliated.Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders.If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to [email protected] (please don’t send attachments). Each week, Pamela chooses one problem to answer, which will be published online. She regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions. Continue reading...

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