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Best of the Babylon Bee: Juan Soto joined Mets to get Octobers off every year

Best of the Babylon Bee: Juan Soto joined Mets to get Octobers off every year

Every week, The Post will bring you our picks of the best one-liners and stories from satirical site the Babylon Bee to take the edge off Hump Day.

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Best of the Babylon Bee: People who have called for ceasefire denounce ceasefire

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Best of the Babylon Bee: Mark Sanchez sentenced to five more seasons with the Jets

AI might be our best hope to fix health care

SIR CLIVE WOODWARD: Lewis Moody was fearless on the pitch and is one of the best people you will ever meet off it. I'll never forget his crucial role in the 2003 World Cup win - and this is why he deserves better from rugby's authorities

I have access to the best dermatologists in the world. These are their insider tips that ACTUALLY work: POLISHED with Elise Wilson

The best, most delicious apple trees to grow at home

Was this Starmer’s best speech? Yes. But he’ll need a new battle plan to convince a doubting Britain | Martin Kettle

AncestryDNA horror stories prove these genealogy kits ruin lives. I've seen the broken families - including my own - and, believe me, some secrets are best kept buried

Trump’s Gaza plan is best hope for regional peace yet

I've discovered the BEST body lotions for firm, toned skin - plus the new bath trend I love and my 'must-try' facial: POLISHED with Elise Wilson

AI can’t raise the dead, but it might do the next best thing

Here’s the best way to deploy the billions from Trump’s tariffs

The hottest new restaurant in Australia is hidden inside an old apartment block from 1938 - and it's like attending the 'best dinner party ever': THE DETOUR

Farage now tied with Starmer as “best prime minister”

Best of the Babylon Bee: Reeeeeeee! Raaaawwwwwrrrr! — Olbermann says in new Op-Ed

BEL MOONEY: Sex in my 70s is the best ever, but why won't he go on dates?

OLIVER HOLT: I've covered all the greatest strikers of the last 30 years and this is my ranking of the 21 best - where do Lionel Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo and Erling Haaland fit in?

Opinions

Letters to the Editor: Most people who lose jobs through no fault of their own don't get $2-million payouts

Letters to the Editor: Most people who lose jobs through no fault of their own don't get $2-million payouts

about 1 hour ago

Mamdani’s plan to strip the NYPD’s boss of disciplinary power would threaten public safety

Mamdani’s plan to strip the NYPD’s boss of disciplinary power would threaten public safety

about 3 hours ago

Zohran’s dodgy mayoral debate: Letters to the Editor — Oct. 20, 2025

Zohran’s dodgy mayoral debate: Letters to the Editor — Oct. 20, 2025

about 3 hours ago

The shutdown proves it: We don’t need so much government after all

The shutdown proves it: We don’t need so much government after all

about 3 hours ago

I don't care if it makes him happy. What my dad has asked me to do is deplorable: DEAR JANE

I don't care if it makes him happy. What my dad has asked me to do is deplorable: DEAR JANE

about 3 hours ago

SARAH VINE: If we fall for Kim Kardashian's £34 dead rat it's proof we've really lost it

SARAH VINE: If we fall for Kim Kardashian's £34 dead rat it's proof we've really lost it

about 15 hours ago

MAIL ON SUNDAY COMMENT: The prince wriggled and squirmed... but a free and fearless Press would not let him off the hook

MAIL ON SUNDAY COMMENT: The prince wriggled and squirmed... but a free and fearless Press would not let him off the hook

about 17 hours ago

FLOURISHING AFTER 50: I'm 58 and just lost my job - I'm terrified no one will hire me again

FLOURISHING AFTER 50: I'm 58 and just lost my job - I'm terrified no one will hire me again

about 20 hours ago

Trump should box Putin in BEFORE any Budapest showdown

Trump should box Putin in BEFORE any Budapest showdown

about 22 hours ago

Mamdani’s pathetic plans for NYC schools prove he doesn’t really want to govern the city at all

Mamdani’s pathetic plans for NYC schools prove he doesn’t really want to govern the city at all

about 22 hours ago

My wife always swore she didn't masturbate. Then I caught her in the act doing something so shocking, I can barely look her in the eye: ASK JANA

My wife always swore she didn't masturbate. Then I caught her in the act doing something so shocking, I can barely look her in the eye: ASK JANA

about 24 hours ago

'He'll never be PM': In unsparing detail, Cabinet sources tell PVO of Jim Chalmers' private humiliation over his super tax backdown, his denial until the last moment... and Albo's Shakespearean betrayal

'He'll never be PM': In unsparing detail, Cabinet sources tell PVO of Jim Chalmers' private humiliation over his super tax backdown, his denial until the last moment... and Albo's Shakespearean betrayal

about 24 hours ago

ALEXANDRA SHULMAN'S NOTEBOOK: After cancer, Kate's house move really is a new start

ALEXANDRA SHULMAN'S NOTEBOOK: After cancer, Kate's house move really is a new start

about 24 hours ago

DAN HODGES: This is who Cabinet ministers have told me is REALLY to blame for Labour's China crisis... and some Foreign Office officials are even calling her the 'Dragon Lady'

DAN HODGES: This is who Cabinet ministers have told me is REALLY to blame for Labour's China crisis... and some Foreign Office officials are even calling her the 'Dragon Lady'

about 24 hours ago

PETER HITCHENS: It's Left-wingers who should worship Maggie. She's no idol for REAL conservatives

PETER HITCHENS: It's Left-wingers who should worship Maggie. She's no idol for REAL conservatives

about 24 hours ago

KENNEDY: Here's the truth of weird drug-fueled orgies in Congress that Tucker Carlson is investigating... it makes me sick to my stomach

KENNEDY: Here's the truth of weird drug-fueled orgies in Congress that Tucker Carlson is investigating... it makes me sick to my stomach

about 24 hours ago

The war on pet stores and more: Letters to the Editor — Oct. 19, 2025

The war on pet stores and more: Letters to the Editor — Oct. 19, 2025

Letters to the Editor: Plan to prevent fires with fuel breaks is 'counterproductive and harmful'

Letters to the Editor: Plan to prevent fires with fuel breaks is 'counterproductive and harmful'

BEL MOONEY: How can I stop family parading snaps of my kids online?

BEL MOONEY: How can I stop family parading snaps of my kids online?

The day I dined with the Muhammad Ali of sumo wrestling - this is how the great champion feasted: JEFF POWELL

The day I dined with the Muhammad Ali of sumo wrestling - this is how the great champion feasted: JEFF POWELL

Dear Abby: I know my sister is stealing from me, but she won’t admit it

Dear Abby: I know my sister is stealing from me, but she won’t admit it

ALEX BRUMMER: I've just met the world's top financiers and they're terrified. A catastrophic crash that will destroy savings, prosperity and living standard is coming. Britain's in deep, deep trouble

ALEX BRUMMER: I've just met the world's top financiers and they're terrified. A catastrophic crash that will destroy savings, prosperity and living standard is coming. Britain's in deep, deep trouble

'Insane, thoughtless and directionless. The Sussexes are spiralling': Insider's damning words to ALISON BOSHOFF on Meghan's latest reinvention as they reveal 'mess' - and her very surprising next move

'Insane, thoughtless and directionless. The Sussexes are spiralling': Insider's damning words to ALISON BOSHOFF on Meghan's latest reinvention as they reveal 'mess' - and her very surprising next move

International treasure hunt for Lady Gabriella husband's missing cash: RICHARD EDEN

International treasure hunt for Lady Gabriella husband's missing cash: RICHARD EDEN

QUENTIN LETTS: Fortune is turning against the silken, sinuous courtier blamed for the China spy scandal. So will Keir Starmer sever the suppurating limb that is National Security Adviser Jonathan Powell?

QUENTIN LETTS: Fortune is turning against the silken, sinuous courtier blamed for the China spy scandal. So will Keir Starmer sever the suppurating limb that is National Security Adviser Jonathan Powell?

The Bill Belichick trainwreck just keeps getting worse, and we all know who’s pulling the levers

The Bill Belichick trainwreck just keeps getting worse, and we all know who’s pulling the levers

DAILY MAIL COMMENT: It took a long time coming, but Prince Andrew has finally done the right thing

DAILY MAIL COMMENT: It took a long time coming, but Prince Andrew has finally done the right thing

Why John Bolton probably WON’T pay big if found guilty in his documents case

Why John Bolton probably WON’T pay big if found guilty in his documents case

ALEX BRUMMER: Britain suffering inflation calamity

ALEX BRUMMER: Britain suffering inflation calamity

Game of thongs! My bizarre night with the sumo superfans by ROBERT HARDMAN

Game of thongs! My bizarre night with the sumo superfans by ROBERT HARDMAN

Winning World War III, ‘vision thing’ dooms Democrats and other commentary

Winning World War III, ‘vision thing’ dooms Democrats and other commentary

Sick Young Republican group chat is part of the right’s new ‘vice signaling’ bonding ritual

Sick Young Republican group chat is part of the right’s new ‘vice signaling’ bonding ritual

Why Trump is succeeding in the Middle East where Biden and Obama failed

Why Trump is succeeding in the Middle East where Biden and Obama failed

Mamdani’s debate lies, dodges and fumbles — signs of disaster ahead for NYC

Mamdani’s debate lies, dodges and fumbles — signs of disaster ahead for NYC

The disastrous NYC mayoral debate: Letters to the Editor — Oct. 18, 2025

The disastrous NYC mayoral debate: Letters to the Editor — Oct. 18, 2025

A key psychiatric group censored our doctors for seeking to discuss the harm of child sex changes

A key psychiatric group censored our doctors for seeking to discuss the harm of child sex changes

Dems’ biggest problem isn’t Mamdani and socialists — it’s the ‘moderates’ who cave to them

Dems’ biggest problem isn’t Mamdani and socialists — it’s the ‘moderates’ who cave to them

AMANDA PLATELL: Meghan's own goal of monumental stupidity is the kind only she is capable of making

AMANDA PLATELL: Meghan's own goal of monumental stupidity is the kind only she is capable of making

Letters to the Editor: Ballot conspiracy claim is easily debunked, at least in L.A. County

Letters to the Editor: Ballot conspiracy claim is easily debunked, at least in L.A. County

BORIS JOHNSON: Britain is enduring a slow-motion catastrophe, as one set of tax rises triggers the next. There's only one solution

BORIS JOHNSON: Britain is enduring a slow-motion catastrophe, as one set of tax rises triggers the next. There's only one solution

Hilaria Baldwin may be out of DWTS, but she’s still going for first place — in the self-pity Olympics

Hilaria Baldwin may be out of DWTS, but she’s still going for first place — in the self-pity Olympics

Celebrate with an “Ocean State of Mind” this festive season

Celebrate with an “Ocean State of Mind” this festive season

Infographic: Moderna’s strategic partnership with the UK government

Infographic: Moderna’s strategic partnership with the UK government

An investment in the future

An investment in the future

We're local park volunteers but Castle Water has demanded a £5,479 bill: CRANE ON THE CASE

We're local park volunteers but Castle Water has demanded a £5,479 bill: CRANE ON THE CASE

Mamdani suffers awful showing in NYC mayoral debate — but Cuomo still can’t bury him

Mamdani suffers awful showing in NYC mayoral debate — but Cuomo still can’t bury him

RICHARD EDEN: Why Petra Ecclestone's husband is on HRT

RICHARD EDEN: Why Petra Ecclestone's husband is on HRT

JAN MOIR: How can soiled Prince Andrew live with himself? And the troubling question: What role did he play in Virginia's death?

JAN MOIR: How can soiled Prince Andrew live with himself? And the troubling question: What role did he play in Virginia's death?

TOM UTLEY: Imagine the furore if Dame Mary Beard had celebrated the demise of 'thicko black rugger buggers' at Cambridge!

TOM UTLEY: Imagine the furore if Dame Mary Beard had celebrated the demise of 'thicko black rugger buggers' at Cambridge!

Phil Murphy’s foolish obsession with wind power has carved a huge opening for Jack Ciatarrelli

Phil Murphy’s foolish obsession with wind power has carved a huge opening for Jack Ciatarrelli

ALISON BOSHOFF: Jacko's daughter reaches out to his 'grooming' victims for the first time

ALISON BOSHOFF: Jacko's daughter reaches out to his 'grooming' victims for the first time

CHRISTOPHER STEVENS reviews The Iris Affair on Sky Atlantic: A wonderfully loopy thriller that pays homage to classic Hitchcock

CHRISTOPHER STEVENS reviews The Iris Affair on Sky Atlantic: A wonderfully loopy thriller that pays homage to classic Hitchcock

Democrat hysteria over the end of racial gerrymandering ignores the reality of racially-mixed America today

Democrat hysteria over the end of racial gerrymandering ignores the reality of racially-mixed America today

Don’t let America become a UK-style antisemitic hell-hole

Don’t let America become a UK-style antisemitic hell-hole

President Trump needs to call out the deadly persecution of Nigerian Christians

President Trump needs to call out the deadly persecution of Nigerian Christians

Hamas’ public executions: Letters to the Editor — Oct. 17, 2025

Hamas’ public executions: Letters to the Editor — Oct. 17, 2025

Good on Trump for targeting Venezuelan drug cartels allied with dictator Nicolás Maduro

Good on Trump for targeting Venezuelan drug cartels allied with dictator Nicolás Maduro

After the Gaza cease-fire, what will these faux revolutionaries protest? Some ideas

After the Gaza cease-fire, what will these faux revolutionaries protest? Some ideas

Wealthy pay a heavy price: Reeves's failure to cut the benefits bill is costing Britain dear, says ALEX BRUMMER

Wealthy pay a heavy price: Reeves's failure to cut the benefits bill is costing Britain dear, says ALEX BRUMMER

This week in whoppers: NY Times calls terrorists ‘hostages,’ Mamdani’s sick fix for bus assaults and more

This week in whoppers: NY Times calls terrorists ‘hostages,’ Mamdani’s sick fix for bus assaults and more