I Adopted My Son During The Pandemic. The Parental Leave Review Must Not Forget Families Like Mine

Geoffrey, Fred and their son.My experience of becoming a dad was deeply emotional and transformative. It changed every part of my life.We adopted our son during the height of the Covid-19 pandemic, a time that, oddly enough, proved to be a blessing in disguise. With lockdowns and working from home, I was able to be more present. We often speak about the bond between mothers and their children largely rooted in pregnancy and early care. Yet adoptive parents must build those same vital attachments through an entirely different process.You welcome a fully formed child into your life, often carrying the weight of trauma, instability or loss. Building a family through adoption means forming trust, love and connection from the ground up.Currently, statutory adoptive leave is 52 weeks – and only one person can take it. The other parent can take statutory paternity leave, which in the UK is up to two weeks. Shared parental leave is also an option.But when you’re building a family with a child who has already been through so much at such a young age, having only two weeks off before returning to work can be incredibly challenging.I believe adoptive families need more than a few weeks to establish that bond. They need at least three months of leave together. This isn’t a holiday; it’s essential bonding time. Attachment is the cornerstone of any family, and for adopted children, it’s even more critical.A secure, consistent presence from both parents helps the child feel safe – it enables them to begin building a sense of belonging. Without that time, families risk struggling, especially when one parent bears the emotional and logistical load alone.My husband and I had to figure this out ourselves. Even with Covid-era flexibility, it became clear how adoptive parents are left to fight for the time they need, or go without it.And without clear policy support, the child can be left vulnerable too.For families with two dads, two mums or solo adopters, the challenges only increase. We must move beyond outdated assumptions that one “primary caregiver” will always be available.The parental leave review must not forget adoptive familiesThe government’s ongoing review of parental leave is a crucial opportunity to close these gaps. Current policy falls short for adoptive and foster families.As I’ve said to many people: “Adoption may not be the traditional path to parenthood, but it’s no less profound. Improving adoption leave and support sends a powerful message: all families are valued.”The adoption journey is often longer and more emotionally taxing than people realise. Parents arrive at the end ready to love and provide, but are not always adequately supported.While shared parental leave is technically available, it’s difficult to access meaningfully – complex processes, lack of support, and workplace culture can make it challenging for parents to utilise effectively. In our case, my husband took that year and developed a deeply nurturing bond with our son, a connection traditionally associated with the mother. He remains the soothing, caring presence in our family.Yet I wonder how differently things might have unfolded had I been given more space to step into that role, too.I desperately wanted more time with my child, but having just started a new role, I didn’t feel I could ask for it – or that I was entitled to the time and space we needed.Culturally, many workplaces still operate under outdated assumptions about caregiving. One parent, often by default, becomes the primary carer, while the other may feel awkward or even judged for requesting extended leave. There’s often an unspoken pressure to “carry on as normal” or to prove your commitment by returning quickly. This fosters a culture where taking the full amount of leave – particularly for fathers or secondary carers – can feel like a career risk rather than a supported choice.What needs to change?First of all, increase the number of statutory parental leave weeks for the second parent to at least three months, not just two weeks.This support must also extend to fostering-to-adopt families. We need better financial backing, stronger workplace protections, and clearer guidance for employers to remove ambiguity around entitlements.Ideally, just as paid time off for antenatal care is a legal entitlement for pregnant employees, prospective adopters should be entitled to leave that allows them to engage in the adoption process training, assessments, and social worker meetings, which often happen during working hours.HR managers can be trailblazers in this area. By crafting inclusive policies that reflect diverse paths to parenthood, businesses can directly improve family wellbeing and encourage adoption. That means embracing flexible work, offering extended leave beyond legal minimums, and treating adoptive and biological parents with equal dignity and care.These changes won’t just uplift individual families – they’ll shape the future of our country. With declining birth and adoption rates, we must ask: what kind of society are we building?Supporting families of all types, including adoptive ones, isn’t just the right thing to do. It’s a long-term investment in Britain’s strength, stability and diversity.In 50 years, what will Britain bring to the world stage? The answer will depend on how we treat our children and the families raising them today.Geoffrey Williams is a cultural strategist and HR leader.Related...Dads Went On Strike – Now, Parental Leave Might Be Getting An OverhaulWhat Age Can You Leave Kids Home Alone? Real Talk From ParentsMajority Of Fathers Can't Afford To Take Their Full Paternity Leave In The UK, Shows Dire New Report

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