'I Knew I'd S**t Myself': Katherine Ryan Shares Her Lightning Fast Birth Story

Katherine Ryan (Scott A Garfitt/Invision/AP)Comedian Katherine Ryan has opened up about her extremely rapid birth, which led to her soiling herself in front of a “handsome doctor”.In an episode of her podcast, Telling Everybody Everything, Katherine revealed how her newborn baby, called Holland Juliette, made quite the speedy entrance over the weekend. Addressing her husband Bobby Kootstra, Katherine asked how he’d rate the birth, to which Bobby replied: “We scheduled it and it went according to plan and no problems.”“I would call it pretty smooth sailing,” the comedian added, while cradling her baby in her arms.Katherine explained the plan was that if she hadn’t given birth by Friday, they would be booked in for an induction (where labour is artificially started) with a “lovely, handsome doctor, celebrity obstetrician”, called Pat.She added that “he’s not someone that you want to shit yourself in front of”.I think we know where this is going...“My vag started like bubbling, like bubbles were coming out of it. And I was like too stupid in the moment to know that that was ... Holland crowning,” she said.She requested some pain relief, and then asked the midwife to go and get Pat – at which point she got onto the bed and removed her underwear. The midwife and Pat reappeared and Katherine noted: “I knew I’d shat myself.”″[It happened] Right away, as soon as she got on the bed,” added Bobby. “And they tried to play it off, like ‘oh you don’t know for sure’ and ... you’ve got your gas and air, and you’re like [in a gravel voice] ‘I know that I did’.”The comedian said in total, she was in active labour for 45 minutes. Studies have found that the duration of labour does tend to shorten, typically, during second and subsequent vaginal births.What is classed as a quick birth?According to Cleveland Clinic, typical labour lasts between six and 18 hours (on average). Some people have what is called a precipitous labour, where their baby is born “within three hours of regular contractions starting”.Factors that can speed up delivery include: if you’ve given birth before, if your baby is smaller, is your uterus is strong and efficient at contracting, if your labour is induced or if you’ve got high blood pressure.While a quick labour might sound like a dream, it can increase the risk of heavy bleeding and tearing.Fans of the pair congratulated them and applauded Katherine for sharing her birth story – warts and all.“Many many congratulations!! I love a birth story,” said comedian and parenting influencer, Louise Boyce.Her turd-filled tale also prompted others to share their own stories of bowel-related accidents during labour (easily done, believe me).Fellow comedian Laura Newman commented: “Congratulations! Considering I was crouched down on the floor, I pretty much shat in the hands of my student midwife bless her.”“I LOVE when other women talk about shitting themselves during labour,” added one of her followers. “My ex wouldn’t stop making fun of me for it and I was only 19 so didn’t know any better. 38 now and if I could go back in time I wish I shat on his PlayStation just on principle.”In addition to baby Holland, Katherine and Bobby share two children together, Fenna, who is two, and Fred, who is four. Katherine also has a 16-year-old daughter, Violet, from a previous relationship.Related...Katherine Ryan Clarifies Meghan Markle Comments After Claiming She'd Been 'Weaponised' Online'Twilight Sleep' Is The Historical Birthing Method That Will Keep You Up At Night'You Cooked Up Placenta Like A Steak?!': Calvin Harris Shares Placenta Photos After Son's Birth

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