If Your Teen's Anxious Or Upset, This Psychologist-Backed Tip 'Deeply Works'

With A Level results announced today, and GCSEs next week, there are sure to be a lot of happy teenagers up and down the country. Equally, there may be some disappointed kids. Whether they’re upset over their results, worried about what it means for their future, or just seem a bit down about something else entirely, clinical psychologist Dr Lucie Hemmen has shared some helpful advice for parents. In a TikTok video, the expert said the quick tip sounds “cheesy” until you experience it “and see how deeply it works”. Advice to help someone feel betterIf your teenager is unloading something, the psychologist advised really listening for the emotion they’re expressing – “there’s lots of content in there, but the thing you’re really listening for is the feeling,” she explained in her video.Don’t interrupt as they share what’s going on. Her advice is that when they pause and take a break, “you reflect that feeling [back] to them”.Dubbed emotional attunement, it’s basically about being aware of – and empathising with – another person’s feelings. Dr Hemmen explained that it works so well because when we feel heard, and felt, “you can feel your nervous system slow down”. We feel validated and, ultimately, supported – and this can be especially important for kids. The psychologist suggested you could say something like: “Honey, you’ve got a lot going on and I really am hearing how stressed you are. I hear how much you have on your plate.”Likewise if your teen is anxious in the lead up to finding out their results, or disappointed on the day, mirror back to them that you can see how they’re feeling.The tip isn’t just for teenagers, either. It can work well in all manner of relationships. Plenty of commenters agreed that emotional attunement has helped them, too.One TikTok user said: “Having your feelings validated makes you feel seen.”Another said: “Oh, I always cry when someone validates me like this.”Any more tips for supporting kids on results day?Yes! Sue Alder, head of professional development and standards at the Careers Development Institute (CDI) said there are a number of ways parents can show support. These include:1. Staying calm and positive – reassure them that results are important, but are not the only measure of success or route to their future. 2. Being prepared for different outcomes and discussing this with them ahead of time (without catastrophising). This helps reduce panic on the day.   3. Knowing key dates and times, such as when and how results will be released, and having login details ready. This can alleviate any stress on the day. Equally, let your child be the one to take control and check their own results on the day. 4. Getting to grips with UCAS – familiarise yourself with key terms like Firm and Insurance offers, Clearing and Deferral. 5. Having plan B (and C) ready – discuss alternative routes, such as different universities via Clearing, degree apprenticeships, foundation year courses, HNCs and HNDs, or taking a gap year.6. Avoiding comparisons – don’t compare their results to siblings, friends, or anyone else. 7. Celebrating effort, not just results. No matter the grades, praise their hard work, resilience, and how far they’ve come.Related...I'm A Child Psychiatrist – Don't Make This 1 Mistake When Talking To TeensUK Porn Age Verification Is Here – But What If We’re Sending Teens Somewhere Worse?Martin Lewis Urges Parents Of Teens To Do 1 Thing When They Turn 18

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