'My 4-Year-Old's Embarrassed Of How I Dress. Where Do I Go From Here?'

A mum has opened up about her four-year-old’s surprising admission that she’s embarrassed by how her parent dresses.In a post on Reddit, the parent, who is an attorney, said she typically works from home so spends a lot of time wearing comfy clothes – yoga pants, baggy t-shirts and sweatshirts – and only tends to wear makeup for special occasions. “I didn’t realise my daughter even thought twice about how I dress or cared, I mean, she’s 4,” said the parent. “Maybe naively, I didn’t think I had anything to worry about in terms of embarrassing my kids for at least a few more years.”But it turns out that’s not the case. The parent said she was picking her child up from pre-school when her daughter spotted her and became upset. “Once we got in the car, she was able to tell me why she was upset, and told me she wished I dressed ‘prettier’ and that the clothes I wore were embarrassing,” recalled the parent.The four-year-old apparently then asked her mum to wear dresses and makeup. “I’m feeling so conflicted by this,” said the mum. “We have never commented on other people’s bodies/appearances in public or private, and we only ever give compliments in that regard towards each other and others. Maybe it’s coming from her friends at school?”The “confused” parent asked the internet masses: “Where do I go from here?”What do others think? Fellow Redditors believed the parent shouldn’t dress differently for her daughter, but should use this as a “teachable moment”.One respondent said: “You can explain how making negative comments about how someone looks or dresses can hurt their feelings and that she can decide how she dresses, but should only comment on someone else’s choices when it is a sincere compliment.”Another commented that their daughter is also four and “has never thought to be embarrassed of my clothes”. They asked: “Is this an idea that someone has planted in her head?”, to which others suggested other children might have parroted gossip from their parents. “I think this is a good opportunity to teach her about ’beauty standards, personal choice, letting her know makeup and clothes aren’t the main things that make you pretty,” added another commenter.A therapist weighs inPsychotherapist James Lloyd told HuffPost UK that in this instance, it’s important to explore what this moment might have meant to the child. “At that age, comments like these often reflect a developing awareness of social norms or peer influences, rather than a fully formed judgment,” he said. “Helping the child make sense of their feelings, without reinforcing shame, is important to keep in mind.”That said, it’s “valuable” for the parent to also “gently and honestly” share how the comment made them feel.He continued: “This models openness and helps the child learn that words can impact others. For instance, saying something like, ‘I understand you were feeling a bit upset, and I appreciate you telling me. I felt a little hurt when you said that, but I’m glad we can talk about it together’.”Doing this can “open the door to a conversation about individuality, expressing ourselves, being honest, and kindness towards others and ourselves”.Related...'I Went Through My Daughter's Phone. What I Saw Terrified Me'We Need To Speak To Our Daughters About This Disturbing Use Of AIDon't Make This Life-Altering Mistake With Your Eldest Daughter

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