'My Parents Were Late For My Graduation. The Reason Why Made Me Go No-Contact'

A 2021 study found that sibling bullying is linked to a decreased sense of competence and self-esteem for the bullied party, but what about when the unfair treatment comes from their parents?That’s a situation Redditor u/fortnite_meow seems to be grappling with in a post shared to r/AITAH (Am I The Asshole Here).Acknowledging that their situation sounds “ridiculous and insane,” they wrote: “AITA for ‘running away’ because my parents were late to my graduation over a Labubu”?We asked BACP-registered psychotherapist Daren Banarsë, who owns a private practice in London, how to handle sibling favouritism at its most extreme. Their parents were buying their younger sibling a trendy toyThe poster, who is adopted, says her parents have always treated their biological child (her 10-year-old sister) differently. “My parents didn’t treat me badly,” they wrote, “but if I got one toy, Princess [their sister] got five.” This left them “jealous,” and got worse as Princess grew older. For the past couple of years, the original poster (OP) said that she’d been distancing herself more and more from her family, spending time with her boyfriend’s family, at work, and/or doing hobbies. Before OP’s graduation last month, Princess shared that there was a Labubu (a trendy, sometimes-pricey) toy she’d been after in town that cost the family hundreds (almost double the price of OP’s graduation gift). They were late to the poster’s graduation because they’d been busy buying OP’s sibling this toy, which was the straw that broke the camel’s back for the poster.“After graduation, I ignored them and went home with my boyfriend,” she wrote. “My parents called, texted, apologised, even came over and begged me to forgive them. Worst part of it all, they think it’s the money and sent me another hundred. I refused to talk to them.” Sibling favouritism can be traumaticSpeaking to HuffPost UK, Banarsë said: “Sibling favouritism creates psychological wounds that can last a lifetime, yet it’s consistently underestimated as a form of childhood trauma.” It can create “lasting harm” because it strikes at our “sense of belonging and worth within our first social unit,” the family. It’s not always blatant, either ― “It’s often woven into the fabric of daily family life through subtle differences in tone, patience levels, or emotional availability,” the therapist added. “For adopted children, any perceived differential treatment can trigger deeper fears about belonging and acceptance that require careful, trauma-informed approaches.” There’s no universal answer to this problem, he continued.“The decision depends on factors like the severity and consistency of the favouritism, the parents’ willingness to acknowledge harm and make changes, the ongoing impact on mental health, and whether healthy boundaries can be established and maintained.” If not, “distance” may be needed.And the core issue, intrinsic self-worth, can be addressed through “improved communication, or through building stronger support networks while maintaining whatever level of contact feels psychologically safe and healthy.” Related...'My Mother-In-Law Insulted My WFH Job. Was My Response Unfair?''I Ghosted My Friend After She Asked To Split Her Birthday Bill. Was I Unfair?''My Neighbour Called Me Selfish For Not Watching Her Kids. Did I Overreact?'

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