Ask An Expert: How To Get Your Kid To Stay In Their Own Bed At Night

If you frequently wake up with a pair of feet in your face, or find yourself dangling off the edge of your mattress while the rest of your family (we’re talking partners, kids, cats, dogs, you name it) snooze next to you, you’re certainly not alone. I, too, have woken up many a time with children wedged either side of me – toes poking into my spine; angelic, peaceful faces millimetres from my nose.The reality is, kids will often creep into bed with their parents every now and then – whether for comfort after a bad dream, company or a bit of warmth. But if your child is repeatedly coming into your bed and everyone’s sleep is suffering as a result, it might be time to make some changes to help them stay in their own room.Short of getting a lock on your bedroom door though (which would probably just elicit lots of banging and screaming instead), the million dollar question is: how?We asked sleep consultant and parenting expert Rosey Davidson, of Just Chill Baby Sleep, just that. Here’s what she suggested...How to support your child back to their own bedDavidson said it’s really common for children to creep into their parents’ beds at night – and often it’s not about being ‘naughty’ or ‘defiant’, but rather about seeking comfort and security.“From a developmental perspective, many children go through phases of increased separation anxiety, and night-waking is a natural part of that,” she told HuffPost UK.“In fact, studies show that most children wake briefly several times a night – the difference is whether they can resettle independently, or if they need a parent’s help.”If you’ve got into a habit of letting your kids into your bed and now they’re doing it nightly, you might want to explain to them in an age-appropriate way that you’re going to be making a change.After that, it’s all about consistency – from your bedtime routine to helping them back to bed each night. At this point it’s all about getting them into the habit of winding down, being comfortable in their own room, and helping them stay in their own room. “Start with a calm, predictable bedtime routine – bath, story, cuddles, bed – to help regulate their nervous system and signal to the brain that it’s time for sleep,” said Davidson.“A safe, cosy sleep environment also helps: think soft lighting, a favourite teddy, or a comfort blanket. These familiar cues provide the same kind of reassurance your presence gives, and help little ones feel secure enough to drift back to sleep alone.”When your child does eventually wander into your room in the small hours, the expert advises to “calmly and quietly return them to their own bed each time”.“Keep interactions low-key – minimal talking, no extra games or snacks – so they don’t start to associate waking with fun or reward,” she advised.“It can be tough at first, but children thrive on clear boundaries. Over time, their brains begin to link ‘night-time’ with ‘my own bed’.”There’s also something called an ‘in-room’ method which some families find useful. “This might look like sitting nearby while your child settles and gradually moving further away over a few nights,” said Davidson.“It’s a great middle ground for children who need a little extra support to build confidence, without creating long-term dependency.”Obviously this involves a bit of work on your part over the course of a few days, possibly even weeks, but your child will eventually start to stay in their own bed if you stick with it. Davidson reassures parents that “you don’t have to just put up with it” – especially if your sleep is suffering as a result. “So many parents accept broken nights even though they’re exhausted and unhappy with the situation,” she said.“With the right strategies, children can learn to sleep confidently in their own beds – and crucially, they benefit from being better rested too.”Good luck! Related...I Gave Up Sleep Tracking For A Week, And I've Never Felt More Rested4 Napping Mistakes A Sleep Doctor Would Never MakeKate Silverton On 1 Thing We Should Prioritise As Much As Our Kids' Hobbies

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