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Kate Silverton On 1 Thing We Should Prioritise As Much As Our Kids' Hobbies

Kate Silverton On 1 Thing We Should Prioritise As Much As Our Kids' Hobbies
Kate Silverton (Photo by Joel C Ryan/Invision/AP)Family mealtimes are under threat – and busy work schedules teamed with jam-packed post-school schedules appear to be playing a key role.New research from HelloFresh reveals almost one in three (32% of) parents say their children’s hobbies and club schedules make it difficult to share dinners together midweek.Almost half of children are now enrolled in three or more clubs, with parents feeling the pressure to sign kids up for even more.Kate Silverton, a former broadcaster turned child therapist who is working with HelloFresh, told HuffPost UK that after-school clubs are “fantastic” as they give children confidence, joy, resilience and help them to build friendships.“As a parent myself, I also know clubs can be a lifeline when we’re juggling work and family life,” she added.But there is something equally as “powerful” and important to children’s wellbeing and development, she added. The answer? Family meals.“Those everyday moments of togetherness at home are crucial for our children’s development – and for our relationship with them. The real magic often happens around the family table,” she added.Why family dinners are importantI know firsthand how hard it is to get the family sat around the table to eat of an evening – especially during the working week.Most parents I know have kids in school or childcare who are eating breakfast, lunch and dinner there because of inflexible working hours – or needing to work all hours under the sun to simply afford childcare costs and the cost of living. Yet Silverton said family mealtimes are important because “connection regulates behaviour, and mealtimes are one of the best ways to build that connection”.“Preparing dinner, setting the table, chatting about our day – all these small moments foster belonging, and belonging is one of the most powerful regulators of behaviour and wellbeing,” she added.Sitting down to eat together has “been shown to enhance children’s reading and vocabulary skills as well as problem solving”, noted the expert.“In short, family meals build belonging, boost mental health, and support calmer, more regulated behaviour. They’re good for our children – and good for us too,” she said.The problem with overschedulingAfter-school schedules are busier than ever, with 46% of children now enrolled in three or more clubs, according to HelloFresh.What’s more, nearly half of parents (48%) admit feeling pressure from peers, social expectations, and even school culture to sign their children up to more. The former BBC newsreader said clubs and activities are “wonderful”, but when we overschedule, “we can crowd out the downtime the brain and body need to restore balance”. Being overscheduled has also been linked to poor mental health in kids.“Shared meals are one of the simplest ways to restore that balance,” she noted.“When we sit down together, we calm what I call the ‘lizard brain’ (safety), soothe the ‘baboon brain’ (feelings and connection), and strengthen the ‘wise owl brain’ (thinking and reflection).”Nearly a quarter (24%) of households manage fewer than three shared dinners a week during term time. But there is a case to try and prioritise shared meals more – even if it’s a routine you stick to at the weekend. And it’s not about cancelling all their extracurricular activities either. The therapist said adopting a balanced approach works: “Clubs build confidence; mealtimes build connection. And it’s not perfection that matters – it’s our presence. Those small, everyday moments of connection are what truly help children flourish. In the end, the best thing we can give our children isn’t more. It’s enough.”Much has been said about overscheduling recently, with some parents taking a stand and actively slowing it down. Dubbed ‘slow parenting’, the approach aims to let kids grow up in their own time, with a view to reducing burnout, fostering a secure parent-child attachment, and boosting resilience.Silverton’s advice is to invite children “to choose two or three activities that they genuinely enjoy” and then “protect family time, such as shared mealtimes, with the same priority as any club commitment”.Acknowledging that it’s tough for time-starved parents, she added: “We don’t need a perfect dinner table or elaborate meals. Sitting down together, even once or twice a week, has profound benefits.“Our children may not remember every activity we drive them to, but they will remember sitting at the table, feeling seen, heard, and that they truly belong.”It’s not just a parent problem, eitherThe expert noted that “there’s a bigger question here for society as a whole”, not just parents, but businesses, schools and policymakers too.“Parents shouldn’t be left endlessly juggling; they need the space and support to be the parents they want to be, and to actually enjoy being with their children,” she said.“So perhaps the question for all of us is this: can we start to value connection time as much as we value achievement and productivity?”She added that if we’re “serious about supporting mental health and wellbeing across society, creating space for families to connect is one of the best places to start”.Related...What Is Pacing? The Kate Middleton-Approved Parenting Trick For Young KidsI'm A Parenting Coach – If You Have A 'Hard' Kid, I Want You To Know 3 ThingsWTF Is 'Slow Parenting'? The Internet's Answer To Overscheduled Kids

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