Parents Are Pondering What Led To Their Child Growing Up Well-Behaved

Some kids seem to be an absolute breeze as far as their behaviour’s concerned, whereas other parents feel like their work’s truly cut out for them. But why is this?It can’t all be down to how you’ve parented because some siblings are raised very similarly and yet can still behave wildly different. “Parents of well behaved kids – what are the biggest causes do you think?” asked a curious parent to a six-month-old baby on Reddit’s popular r/Parenting forum. Addressing parents of older kids who are “really well behaved (for the most part...)”, the parent asked: “What do you attribute that to the most? Did you have any over-arching philosophies that helped? Or anything you did that you think made the biggest difference?”They added that besides enforcing the rule that “no means no”, they “have no idea” how they would discipline their child in the future.And after spending some time with a friend’s three-year-old, who “did not listen AT ALL and actually almost hit my baby”, they wanted all the tips.Temperament and genetics seem to play a big part One commenter suggested the biggest contributor, in their view, seemed to be temperament and genetics.Another parent seconded this answer: “After having two kids who were more [or] less raised the same with totally different behavioural outcomes, I can’t understate the role that genetics and temperament plays into things.”“Temperament 90%,” said another parent. “I have two boys, two years apart, same parents and parenting style. They couldn’t be more different. One doesn’t listen and pushes limits, the other one an angel.”“I could have written this post,” said another caregiver. “I really did think our wonderful first child was the result of superior parenting. Second kid was also pretty awesome. This 3rd child though... something went wrong, lol.”Prioritise routines and sleep“Good routines. Prioritise their sleep!!!! This is huge. And yes, no means no. Also don’t overdo the screen time,” said one respondent.Another parent said “routines, boundaries, and expectations” have worked well for them. “Kids are typically more well-behaved when they know what is expected of them,” they added.Setting boundaries and enforcing consequencesA few parents noted boundaries are important – as are having consequences if lines are crossed.“If kids know you will not be a push over and follow through - they will learn to listen,” said one parent. “Adults live in constant understanding that their actions have consequences, we as adults can cannot do whatever we want to do and neither can kids. Life has [a] consequence for everything you do and children need to learn that early and if they do, they end up being great humans.”“Set logical boundaries, enforce them with natural consequences,” added another Redditor. “Throwing your food? I guess you’re all done, I’ll take it away. Simple things like that. Be predictable and consistent.”Modelling kindnessA few parents noted that kids will copy how parents behave themselves. “They do what you do, not what you say. Screaming stressed household? Screaming stressed kid. Whatever they grow up with, is what they believe is normal,” said one commenter.“I think modelling politeness and kindness goes a long way,” said another. “And yeah... upholding boundaries from a very young age. Like before they can even speak, if they are throwing a tantrum in public it’s just a calm ‘ooo we can’t disturb others so let’s go outside!’ And then do it every single time.”Another said: “One thing within our control (not temperament or genetics) that I think really helped was modelling empathy and being vocal about feelings and situations with others. Overall, my kids are pretty kind and caring towards their peers, strangers, and even each other.”Telling them when they get things right“Every kid is different, every family dynamic is different, so what works for me is not what will work for everyone,” said one parent. “But what I found the most helpful was being proactive in telling my kid what she does RIGHT.“I think kids hear no a lot. But they don’t always know where to go from there. And they need to hear yes. So I have always been very proactive in saying things like, ‘Hey, I noticed your excellent manners in the store. Good job. I’m proud of how you spoke so nicely to the cashier and held the door for the lady who had her hands full.’ Specific and positive feedback gives them something you shoot for.”Connection“Modelling and connection, as in real connection every day” is important, suggested another Redditor. “Give them your time generously, look them in the eyes and listen. Every day.” Perhaps the most relatable comment, though, was from a parent who said: “After having two daughters who seem to have completely different personalities and tendencies, I am convinced that I have no idea what the heck is going on.”Same. Related...Kids Will Be Taught To Manage Money And Spot Fake News In SchoolParenting Coach Says Stop Counting To 3. Try This Instead To Get Kids To ListenPorn Is Educating Our Kids About Sex – Are We OK With That?

Comments

Breaking news

Victoria Underground station closed during rush hour because of faulty escalator

Metro

Comments

Similar News

Australian parents warned counterfeit Labubu dolls may contain lead and pose choking risk

Psychologists Reveal Type of Parents Most Likely To Feel Burnt Out

11 major school changes that parents need to know in curriculum shake-up

Parents given vital sparkler safety advice to follow this Bonfire Night

Southport killer Axel Rudakubana's reign of terror from dad 'hatred' to fears he'd kill parents

Parents given vital sparkler safety advice to follow on Bonfire Night

From a few to more than 350, children and parents ride together to school as a 'bike bus'

Feeling peckish, Sandra? Sir David Beckham's mother leaves family dinner holding a snack as his proud parents celebrate his knighthood

Parents Stopped Kids Streaming in Favor of VHS—Then Something Wild Happened

Parent told 'don't do it' after sharing 'weird' and 'fishy' baby name idea

Five top tips for parents to embrace playtime as one in four feels 'stupid'

Who are Zohran Mamdani’s parents? An award-winning Indian-American director and a political commentator

Major school changes as parents given chilling warning over child safety

Teenager loses court bid against his own parents after they sent him to boarding school in Ghana over fears he would fall into gang violence in Britain

Parents fear screen time ruining Christmas with three in five concerned at tech

Ore Oduba's ex Portia Jett takes VERY bold swipe at star over 'inability to co-parent', being 'hated' and left 'exhausted financially and mentally' - after his porn addiction revelation

British boy who sued parents must stay at Ghana boarding school, judge rules

Who are Zohran Mamdani’s parents? An award-winning director and a political commentator

Inside the whacky world of Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard's parenting: Hollywood couple's children drink non-alcoholic beer, run free around theme parks and are locked in their bedrooms until they fall asleep amid claims their marriage is on the rocks

Parents of Aussie racing star accused of raping nurse at Formula 1 legend Michael Schumacher's mansion break their silence

Breaking news

Victoria Underground station closed during rush hour because of faulty escalator

‘My teenage son and his friends were killed in a car crash – this simple check could have saved them all’

Dad drove car and ‘knocked down’ Huntingdon train stabbings suspect after attack

Robert Jenrick Rapped By Kate Garraway For Saying 'B******t' On Good Morning Britain

Drew Barrymore Phones A Famous Ex, Reminisces About Public Urination During Wild Show Segment

Parents Are Pondering What Led To Their Child Growing Up Well-Behaved

I Tried A 2-Ingredient Chia Jam, And My Porridge Will Never Be The Same

Trump Once Again Proves Geography Is Not His Strong Suit At All

'They Have This New Word': Trump Makes A Startlingly Weird Claim About Vocabulary

‘I paid for a graduate to get the train for a job interview – now I’m campaigning for them’

Residents left stunned over ‘suspicious’ deaths of 4 adults in New York apartment

FAA readies to list airports getting reduced flights during the government shutdown

Native American boarding schools in the US, by the numbers

Village told it cannot have Christmas lights unless England flags taken down

Asian shares advance after solid earnings and economic reports updates lift Wall Street

Indians who fled a Myanmar cyberscam center are being flown home from Thailand

The remains and stories of Native American students are being reclaimed from a Pennsylvania cemetery

One in five people lost money to scams in the past year, report reveals

Ed Sheeran praised by Keir Starmer as government announces changes to music education in UK schools

Trump brought up jailed media mogul Jimmy Jai’s case in meeting with China’s Xi ‘as he said he would’

Who is Rama Duwaji? What Zohran Mamdani’s wife has said about Gaza and ICE as he’s elected NYC mayor

This ‘spider megacity’ may be the largest web ever found. But what’s inside is even more extraordinary

World's End serial killer Angus Sinclair linked to unsolved murders of three young women

Russell Grant's horoscopes as Cancer urged to make changes to daily routine

Let’s find a light in the darkness as Record launch new Save Young Lives campaign

Victim of Limbs in Loch killer claims murderer stalked him after prison release

Mum of tragic suicide teen backs Daily Record's Save Young Lives campaign

Scientists uncover potentially fatal effects of long-term melatonin use

Mum-of-three, 38, brutally beaten by drug-crazed friend before her death

Family blast new mum for picking baby name that looks like 'tragic typo'

Common sleep aid linked to higher risk of heart failure and death in new study

UK weather maps show icy -5C four-week freeze - full list of 28 coldest counties

Typhoon Kalmaegi UPDATES: Dozens dead as Philippines suffers catastrophic floods

Cowboy builder who swindled homeowners out of £200,000 is jailed for four years

Scientists call for a BAN on Chelsea tractors in Britain - as figures show supersized cars are 44% more likely to be involved in fatal collisions

Woman with nightmarish plastic surgery learns fate after she killed Malibu actress with silicon oil during butt lift surgery gone horribly wrong

Women who have a mastectomy could be spared radiotherapy after trial found it makes no difference to breast cancer survival

50 Cent declares 'New York is over' following Mamdani win as he urges locals to flee to southern city he is helping to rebuild

Mothers brutalised with their newborns, blood-streaked streets and whole villages burned to a crisp: The sickening slaughter of Christians in Africa exposed by DAVID PATRIKARAKOS ... and the chilling reason you aren't being told about it

Not all heroes wear pants! Dad tackles alleged car thief to the ground wearing his Spongebob SquarePants undies

Britain's doom loop has begun, says City guru ALEX BRUMMER. The signs are everywhere - and experts' warnings chill me. But there IS an answer...

Fraudsters stole from one in five adults in past year as shopping scams are on the rise

Terrifying moment giant six-metre python coils itself around a tour guide's neck in Borneo, Indonesia

The Guardian journalist who took Red Gold to spy for the Kremlin - but who hated Britain so much he'd have happily done it for free! QUENTIN LETTS

As a top fashion editor I've worked with thousands of women and scour the shops. This is the ultimate guide to the best High Street cashmere - starting at just £65. These are flattering, anti-ageing and high-quality. Don't waste your money

I was desperate for attention and took this drastic step with another man to solve my boyfriend troubles... this is why it was a terrible mistake and I went straight back: HANNAH BETTS

There's nothing more revolting than a man in a quarter-zip. I know exactly why they wear this drippy, emasculating style... Prince Harry is typical. And no, it's not why you think: FLORA GILL

Can YOU tell which of these men cheat just from looking at their faces? One had a six-month affair, one made a drunken mistake he still regrets and one says he'd NEVER stray. But can YOU guess as they confess all...

Kourtney Kardashian fans wonder how tall she is after seeing a photo of sister Kendall Jenner towering over her

Car explodes into ball of fire on NYC street, injuring seven firefighters

What Elon Musk would look like without weight-loss drugs and rumored 'hair transplant'

Bianca Censori's bizarre fingers revealed during family outing in Australia: 'So weird'

Revealed: The 138 historic sites in England at risk of being lost FOREVER - including a secretive Italian-style pergola in Hampstead Heath and the 'birthplace of vaccination' in Gloucestershire

Revealed: £76m Louvre heist suspect is bodybuilding motocross daredevil who gained cult following with reckless rides through Paris

Ben Affleck picks up pretty mystery woman in BMW... after his former flame's tribute to Jennifer Lopez' ex

Australian teen charged over allegedly sticking googly eyes on 'Blue Blob' artwork

Troubled New Zealand wildlife park euthanises two lions