Therapists Swear By This Parenting Trick For 'Rude' Or 'Angry' Kids

Experts say 'special time' could help boost behaviour – here's how. “Special time” is apparently the “best bang-for-your-buck” parenting strategy – but what is it? And why do psychologists love it so much?Child psychologist Dr Becky Kennedy, founder of Good Inside, took to Instagram recently to say it’s the one parenting strategy she recommends “more than any other”.The expert said it is “what kids need more than anything else” and can help those who struggle to listen, are being angry or rude, or having constant tussles with siblings. What is ‘special time’?“So often, our attention as parents is split between work, siblings, admin, getting everyone fed, and the endless mental to-do list and demands on our time and resources,” Anna Mathur, a psychotherapist and author of The Uncomfortable Truth, told HuffPost UK.But special time “cuts through that noise”, she added.Put simply, ‘special time’ is a period of time you carve out in your day where you and your child have one-on-one time together.It could be five minutes, it could be 15 minutes – but the idea is you get rid of all distractions and just sit and spend time with your kid. Dr Kennedy shared some guidelines for parents so they can make the most of ‘special time’ at home. She recommended naming it ‘Mummy-Child’s Name special time’ and then spending 10-15 minutes (or however long you can!) together.“Join in your child’s world,” she suggested, noting parents should try to participate, rather than direct. “No screens, distractions or siblings,” she added.Why does it work?“Even 10 minutes of dedicated one-on-one time is a statement that tells your child: you matter, you’re seen, I want to be with you. That’s powerful, right?” said Mathur.“We know how it feels when we are the sole focus of someone’s attention and they put their phone away and REALLY listen to us, really sit WITH us, and really SEE us.“It has a quality to the attention that isn’t split but says ‘you matter more to me right now than any of the other noise of this world’.”The psychotherapist explained that from a psychological perspective, ‘special time’ helps children “feel emotionally secure, which strengthens their nervous system and improves behaviour”.“When a child feels connected, they are more regulated, co-operative, open, honest, and resilient,” she said. “It’s a way to fill up their emotional cup.”And special time can benefit parents, too. “It can reconnect us to the joy of parenting, especially when life feels like a relentless juggle,” she said.“These are micro-moments of presence that build trust and helps us notice the small, beautiful things we can miss when we’re rushing.“It’s like dropping the anchor into the moment and choosing to be where you are, with them. I often say: connection is the cornerstone of cooperation.”She added that 10 minutes of focused connection a day “is a small act with a big impact”. Related...This 1 Response To Toddler Tantrums Will 'Change Your Life'Psychologist Shares 1 Mistake Parents Make After Tantrums And SquabblesSorry Parents, Toddler Tantrums Are GOOD For Their Development

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