Your Child Was Called A Racist Slur. Here's How To Talk To Them About It

Racist behaviour in schools is on the rise, with record numbers of children being sent home from school last year as a result.Reception class children as young as four years old were included in just over 15,000 reports of racism which led to pupils being sent home, the Mirror reported.Freedom of information (FOI) data found suspensions for racism have risen from 7,403 in the school year ending 2021, to 15,191 in 2024.Almost 2,500 of these suspensions involved children at primary school.One headteacher said the children, some as young as four, didn’t “fully comprehend” racist terms. “It is a reflection of changes in society, not in schools,” they said.A government spokesperson called the figures “unacceptable” and said “racism and discrimination have absolutely no place in our schools”.Earlier this year, early years education consultant Liz Pemberton told HuffPost UK there has been a “noticeable increase” in the use of racist language used by white children in early years settings. At the time, she told HuffPost UK there is an issue where some educators are not secure in their understanding of what constitutes racist behaviour, or they’re not addressing such behaviour and challenging it when it happens.“In my experience, many white early years educators are so uncomfortable with the word ‘racism’, that they bury their heads in the sand and when racist comments are made, they’re often dismissed as ‘not nice’ instead of being named as racist,” she explained in a social media post.“This minimisation doesn’t protect any of the children, it reinforces harm. Silence as a response is equally as harmful because children can interpret this as permission.”While a lot of focus is placed on the children making racist remarks, it is important that those who are on the receiving end of such harmful slurs are not forgotten.We spoke to Pemberton about how parents can speak to and support young children who are subjected to racism at school. Here’s what she said. Speaking to your child after a racist incident At the age of four or five, it might be the first time a child finds themselves on the receiving end of a racial slur or comment.Pemberton said they may not know what the comment means “but they will know from the way in which it has been said what the intent was – i.e. it wasn’t something that made them feel good”.“As children are developing their emotional literacy they may also not have the words to describe how they feel, so also bare this in mind, nor might they respond in a way that you think is ‘expected’,” said the education consultant.“What is important to remember is that you know your child and depending on where the incident took place (you may or may not have been there) listen and observe carefully about how they recall the incident back to you.”She offered the following advice for parents during this conversation: Offer lots of reassurance: Remind your child that they have done nothing wrong in telling you and that they will not get in trouble.Be patient: When listening to their recounting of the incident, it may take a while for them to process and to try and find the words. Try not to interrupt.Be their advocate: Let them know that if this incident happened at nursery or school, they will not have to deal with this alone and that you will speak to their teacher immediately.Don’t relive the trauma: Provide opportunities to do something at home that they really enjoy to help them feel safe and secure. Try not to encourage them to keep on retelling the story to other family members.Love, love, love: Provide lots of hugs and kisses and reaffirm them in all the positive ways you know how. The NSPCC says it can be helpful to tell your child that what has happened to them isn’t their fault and that you’re proud of who they are.No pressure: Don’t pressure your child to confront the other child or to feel they must be friends with them right away. If they do want to play together again, make sure this happens with guidance from teachers and according to the nursery or school policy for apologies and repairing harm.If your child’s experienced racism or bullying from someone at their school or someone you know, the NSPCC advises getting a mediator for you and the other family to discuss the situation – this could be someone at your child’s school or a family member you trust. The importance of speaking to children about their experienceIf racist comments go unaddressed by carers and parents, it can impact a child in a number of ways.“Young children may start to feel nervous or fearful in social settings, especially around peers who look or sound different from themselves, worrying that they might be targeted again,” Pemberton said. It can also impact self-esteem and self-worth.“Hearing negative comments about their identity can make a child question their value or feel ashamed of who they are,” she explained. “Over time, this can affect their confidence in other areas, such as learning or making friends.”Related...Racism Is Happening Among Nursery Age Kids. We Cannot Ignore ItWhy This Word Used To Describe Systemic Racism Is So Damn Triggering‘I Sit And Colour While Other Kids Play’: Disabled Children Shut Out Of UK Playgrounds

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