I Chose To Cut My Daughter’s Gymnastics Journey Short – Here's Why

The spandex-clad teacher pulled me aside, out of earshot from the other parents at the gymnastics class.“We’d like to put your daughter in a developmental class,” she told me. “She’ll be bored in here,” she said waving her hand toward the beginners – a few wobbly-legged kids and one or two with sickled feet.My cheeks flushed. Her talent was obvious – she’d taught herself to cartwheel by the age of 2. My husband and I thought she was a natural, but it was nice to be confirmed.The following week, I sat in the bleachers for 2 1/2 hours on Saturday at a morning class that acted as a fast track to the competition team. It was nearly double the price of the last class, but I reasoned that my daughter’s talent was worth the added expense – and the energy it took for me to entertain her baby brother during the lessons. “Um, excuse me, are those your child’s Crocs? I’m sorry, my baby loves to wear shoes on his hands. Can he borrow them for a few minutes?” A few months into this new Saturday morning routine, my husband was laid off, suddenly making it hard to justify the added $250 a month on our budget. We pulled our daughter out. When we could finally afford to renew the classes a year later, she was 6 and moved up two more levels in about a month. However, the classes weren’t challenging enough, so she taught herself a back handspring and a back tuck at home. “She needs to move up again,” the coach informed us one day after class. We sensed this was coming – our daughter was bored, protesting beforehand that she didn’t want to go. I started threatening to charge her $75 for each class she missed, since that’s what it costs me. There were so many other things I’d prefer to spend that money on than dragging a cranky child out of bed on a weekend. Hoping her attitude would improve in a more difficult class, I looked up the schedule for the next level: Tuesdays and Thursdays from 4:00 to 7:00 p.m.My husband is a teacher at our daughter’s school, where she stays in after-school care until he finishes work meetings and cleans up. They often get home around 4:45/5:00 p.m. For me to get her to the class on time, I would need to drive 20 minutes each way to pick her up by 2:30 p.m. And I’d gladly do that – if it wasn’t during her brother’s nap time and my optimal work hours. I resolved that there had to be other times available for the class, so I scanned the schedule, hoping for more. Nope, that was it. “How will we ever make that?” I worried aloud. My husband shrugged. “We don’t have to.”Those four words hit me. Maybe he was right. For one thing, the time commitment is a big sacrifice for me – precious work hours lost caravanning my daughter to and from school, and chasing her toddler brother around the gym. For another, every time we’ve enrolled our daughter in extracurriculars after school, it’s been the same old fight. “Please go and get ready…”“But I’m SO TIRED. I just got home from school. I wanna stay home and play.”I wonder if her little, overstimulated body can take another three hours of activity on a school night. I imagine she will catch a second wind once she’s there. Are the struggles and tears beforehand worth the effort, though? Gymnastics is her favourite sport (so far), and I believe she has what it takes to be on the competition team, but why spend the next 10 or so years investing in this sport at significant financial and, to her, likely, physical and emotional costs? Most competition teams practically live at the gym; their families must sacrifice weekends for tournaments and performances. And more money. The class fees are just the beginning. There are also costumes, travel and competition fees. Ask any gymnastics parent what they’ve invested in the sport, and they’ll shake their head or stutter through an answer. It ain’t cheap. Then ask the parent if it was worth it. They often say yes. One mother told me she even took a second job to help pay for the $800+ monthly expenses because she believed in investing in her daughter’s talent. Another said she hopes her child will get a collegiate scholarship.I did some research.Currently, only 12 full scholarships per women’s team exist in Division 1, and these are usually split. Since gymnastics is judged, not scored, this also means it’s subjective. Even talented, high-level gymnasts often secure only partial scholarships or walk-on spots. Let’s say I had started putting the money I would pay each month for competitive gymnastics into a savings account. If I saved $700 a month from age 5 until 18, at a 6% annual return, I’d send my daughter to college with $147,000. That route takes the pressure off my kid and is guaranteed money. So, I have a hard time with the scholarship argument. I know there’d be gains too. When I ask former gymnasts if they liked growing up in the sport, they always say they loved the discipline and work ethic it taught them. They dedicated nearly all of their childhood free time, and it built their character. My daughter could benefit from that, too, I suppose.Yet, she could benefit from similar gains by committing herself to her education, chores and other hobbies, which she discovered in the quiet hours of boredom that once seemed a rite of passage for all children.And what about the studies that say eating dinner together as a family is important? Sure, her class would only be two days a week, but pretty soon, two days turn to three, then four, then five.I want to be one of those families who prioritise time together right now because, for goodness’ sake, my daughter’s 7 years old. She should explore, move and enjoy activities, without the pressure to become a professional and make some life-long commitment. When did athletics become all-or-nothing? I wish we could go back to the days when organised sports were about letting kids explore a variety of activities without feeling the need to commit to a track so young. I’m not naive – there are plenty of talented gymnasts on the competitive circuit, which means pulling my daughter out of the developmental program now means she’ll likely never catch up to those who start taking it seriously at this age. Still, we’ve pulled her out anyway, hoping to find a class where she can tumble and tuck her heart out, train the next beam routine, and spin around a bar til she’s dizzy with joy. And still have time to be a kid in a family. Have a life.Because in a world bent on making mini-pros, I just want my child to have a childhood.Kris Ann Valdez is an Arizona native, wife, and mother to three spunky children. Her work appears in Business Insider, Parents, Scary Mommy, and others. Follow her online at krisannvaldez.com or @krisannvaldezwrites. Do you have a compelling personal story you’d like to see published on HuffPost? Find out what we’re looking for here and send us a pitch at [email protected] Is 'Slow Parenting'? The Internet's Answer To Overscheduled KidsI’m A Child Psychologist. But I Can’t Solve The Problem That Made My Daughter CryI Lived With A Lifelong Exhaustion I Couldn’t Explain. Then My Child’s Diagnosis Made Everything Click

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